fatbwoi live @ the sunflower lounge 230711

word up y'all...

done did play me a lil' set on saturday night, downstairs at the sunflower lounge in central birmingham, where the air is hot and humid, and there is an interesting array of scaffolding and fairy lights...

although i think the more appropriate architectural term would probably be someting like 'feature'...

if ya wore it on your head, it'd definitely be a fascinator...

the occasion?! G (of mighty boomshadow fame)'s nth birthday, or 'living wake' as he preferable to call it... and i for one cannot think of a better reason for a bit of celebration...

G opened the evening's entertainment with a solo set, quality tunage delivered on his stratacoustic... and i haven't seen the big G t-shirt before, but i like it... i noticed that there were no covers in my man's set, but put it down to the shorter-sets-to-wedge-in-as-much-entertainment-as-possible nature of the night...

next up was the man-god dale perry, with a short solo set... haven't seen the man d play for a while, and i really enjoyed his set. i could still here some of the dub-no basslines i applied when i stood in on the four-string for 'I Am Locutus' at 2009's Worcester Music Festival... they probably didn't need that much dub at the time... but you can't stop a bwoi in full flow... 8)

g returned to the stage, backed by two guitars, a bass, and the living legend that is paul carroll on the skins... then delivered a supreme collection of (mostly) who covers... it was nice to see g letting his hair down, and busting some move sans guitar, and the PC groove machine in full effect is a truly excellent sight to behold, and i defy anybody not to shake their thang to his infectious rhythmic stylings...

and then i...

my man laurence (1k that's his name) welcomed me on with a properly heart-warming intro (thanks dude!!), and i was fully ready to 'do it to it'...

i played my set by request, it being G's birthday after-all!! this meant the order was a bit odd but all the goodies were there... opened with a jazz hands (my choice), and then deferred to the birthday boy...

there was some CYHMN, a bit of the kinks, and an ultra-rare outing for the tune that is 'crack whore'... (i think i've actually played that more times since christmas than in the two years previous... maybe i should write an extra verse or something, its still a big dumb bludgeoning riff, and my favourite bit has to the 'crack rocks' section) - i reckon its probably safe to put it back on the shelf for a bit...

finished with the chicken one, in duet format (with the G), and a fat pile of crowd participation right about there... and left the stage having (by request) over run my 30mins slot, covered in sweat and barely able to talk... you gotta love it!!

(the mighty) Boomshadow took to the stage to close the night's proceedings, and from the bit of their set that i saw, they were on blistering form... it was nice to see all four of them onstage (for the first time this year i think), 2011 mBS have reworked some of their stuff jus' a lil' and were really good... they're playing at the bandstand in bearwood soon (i'll try and find a link), and are always definitely worth a look-see if you haven't already...

had to make a slightly early break for the wild, to avoid the wheels being impounded... the normally safe island bar car park having been turned into a(n) (admittedly cheap) pay and display car park... with nasty warnings about tickets, documents and letters - boo.

all in, had me a really good night, especially nice to see 1k, PC, PH, dale, sam, and of course the G... (thanks for inviting me dude!)

i love his new shirt!

me next one is at worcester music festival (20th August)... and the thang is already primed and ready to go... 'sgonna be like a super-coiled spring by the time we get there...

in the meantime...

peace-out y'all

Worcester Music Festival (19th - 21st August 2011)

word up you crazy cats!! how in the hell's is it all goin?! all good i hope...

most-exciting news and happy time (!!!) as the bwoi gonna be shaking that thang as part of 'Worcester Music Festival 2011' ...running from the 19th-21st August across Worcester, there's gonna be a bonafide multitude of quality musics on display

...and me 8)

i'll be playing at 'The Boston Tea Party', Saturday 20th August, sometime around the 7o'clock mark... (which is pretty precise for me)

oh yes... there'll be a dose of thang-shaking goodness served up for your own personal delectation... why not c'mon down as its FREE entry...

the line-up has been curated by the 'Not Just Sauce' crew and features...

Jayne Gaze

Hitchhiker

Jennie Harwood

Sarah Oreggio

Jane Booth

Carly Dee

Dan Lloyd

full details of the venue line-up, and more information about the festival can be found here...
http://www.worcestermusicfestival.co.uk/venues/worcester/thebostonteaparty/

i also happen to know that good friends and all round crazy cats 'Less For Murder' are also playing on the 20th... at the 'Swan With Two Nicks', they're on sometime around 4 (i think) ...these crazy cats give a quirky off-the-wall insight into the joys of married life - always worth a watch 8)

it'll be my second appearance at WMF, my first was in 2009 (at The Pheasant) when i stepped in on bass for 'I Am Locutus' with Dale and LC... that was a most enjoyable gig, i remember rushing off to play another set that evening (although the exact location escapes my right now), and wondering if i hadn't slipped a tad too much dub into the set... 8)

happy time

i rather randomly found a pic of the gig online the other day...

thus... 

there i am... :P

peace-out y'all

Love Once EP

word up you crazy cats!!!

today sees the release of the 'Love Once' EP... a kinda prequel to the whole 'Bonfire of the Quangos' album adventure, which is due later this year...

thang-shakin' good times music from me... to you.

as ever, all human life, and all life's essentials are there, and rumour has it there may even be a secret dental-centric bonus track on there...


its currently available to download via the magic of bandcamp (http://www.fatbwoi.bandcamp.com)...

you can name your own price, but anyone who is enamoured enough to download a paid copy will receive some exclusive bonus business when the album is released...

i don't think ya can say fairer than that...

peace-out y'all 8)

Love Once EP - Fatbwoi - 2011

1 - Love Once
2 - 1-800
3 - Mailman
4 - Forces

http://www.fatbwoi.bandcamp.com

Festival Weekend - Artsfest AND Booze Fusion (September 10th/11th 2011)

word up ye crazy cats!!! how the devil(spawn) is it going...?!?

this just in, some exciting developments down home on the farm... it is with much joy and happiness that i can confirm that there's gonna be a festival weekend - hell yes!

the bwoi gone be shaking that thang across two different sites on the weekend, for your own personal delectation, and in line with my legally obliged civic duty... i just thought i'd let ya know 8)

so where does this goodness take place...?!

first up...

ARTSFEST 2011

Artsfest is the UK's largest free arts festival, and takes place over the weekend September 10th/11th. It features a series of events across Birmingham, celebrating the West Midlands most talented performers, artists and creative projects... (http://www.artsfest.org.uk/)

...and it also features me!

i'll be playing at The Flapper and Firkin on Sat 10th, fully primed up and ready to go... hitting the stage about 15.00hrs... with the whole FREE entry thing going on, excuses not to come down and bust some moves/indulge in some quality arts/music goodness are limited...

BOOZE FUSION FESTIVAL 2011

Booze Fusion is a 3day festival running from 9th-11th September at The Vic Bikers Pub in Coalville... and promises to be a top weekend of music and beer goodness!! Day tickets are a 20th century low price of £5, and camping is free (although distributed on a first come basis... so's you takes your chances)...

I'll be taking to the stage at some point on Sunday 11th September, stage time tbc...

But I'd strongly advise you to come down, there's both a main stage and an acoustic stage, and i know for a fact that the most-excellent Grace and The Magic Roots are playing on Sunday too...

Excuses, again, are few...

Maybe we can shake some thang together?!

peace-out y'all

fb

the fatbwoi songbook VII - 1-800

look up in the sky... is it a bird? is it a plane?
omar daze... its a bwoi...
and what's with that completely ungraceful flapping action?!

yes its back, once again, the fatbwoi songbook... with more (and better) installments than star wars, and a chronology as confused as the saw movies... where would you be without it?!

requesting songsheets... but until i get a big ole' OHP, this'll have to do...

oft introduced as then one about god, which isn't strictly true (but chicken to god is a lovely progression)... occasionally more-accurately introduced as the one about tv evangelists and some of the crazy ideas they preach...

that's why the lyrics contain some 'far-out' stuff...

its like i dug that tune that genesis span many moons ago ('jesus he knows me'), but was unconvinced about the packaging or presentation (or something)...
________________________________

1-800

the jews killed jesus - so let's have a party
but i'm glad he was born - that's why the christmas started
well now he's dead you can have an egg
quick look busy jesus is coming
he gathered up twelve apostles
well you have to say that that was quite a posse
drank the holy wine and lost it
quick look busy jesus is coming

hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna know if god is talkin' to ya
hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna talk to god well you...

wanna get to heaven with no sacrifice
well i can sort that out - if you can pay the price
you see god he's good but i'm twice as nice
1-800-4-SALVATION
old school you wanna covet somebody
like a hippy wanna love somebody
let's get it on and brrrrp somebody
1-800-4-SALVATION

hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna know if god is talkin' to ya
hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna talk to god well you talk to me

say jesus
say hallelujah
say what is god - oh god is love
god is love
say jesus
say hallelujah
say what is god - oh god is love
god is love

wish religion could be more fun
you gotta picture the jesus with a laser gun
he's gonna honk some crack and brrrrp some nuns
1-800-4-SALVATION
have to wonder what god he would say
kinda different back in god's day
who is this god bloke anyway?!

hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna know if god is talkin' to ya
hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna talk to god well you through me
_________________________

just like that...

add a bit of stomping, (it sits nice with the shout-y middle eight) and job's a good 'un...

hold your hands up - hallelujah

subtle and stylish...

recently i made a discovery, not the ground-breaking "wow i can power my car with my own ass" kinda discovery, but a discovery all the same... 

if i could power a car with forces generated by my ass it would probably be best not to shout about it, lest i get on the wrong side of the petrol companies and the dollar signs whizzing around in their eyes... thus i shall inxay on the assnay (or something)

my discovery, which is both subtle... and stylish (apparently)

mmm, white and brown... both subtle, and stylish

admittedly, i was having a bad-toilet-paper-decisions kinda day...

it was one of those days where an attempt to razz around the supermarket was heavily impeded by the whole fridge section, which used this impedance to generate a horrible degenerative buzzing sensation inside your skull... one of those days where you cant move, but you have to go...

i think in truth, it possibly reminded me a lil' bit of the kitchen paper the mother-unit used to buy, and when this did not send me running to the hills i do not know... although i think that had more of a green, blue and white motif going on, which is about as far from subtle and stylish as you can get...

or as a populace, we were just less susceptible to advertising guff back in t'day...

but hey, rough with the smooth (although probably better to stick with the smooth whilst we're discussing bog roll... just putting it out there!)

the offending article 'in situ' (its not my house, but neither do i go round photographing random people's TP!?!)

its soft...

but what in the dickens is that design supposed to be?! admittedly it does look quite subtle when kept next to a brick wall (every body's toilet has a brick wall in it right?!) and a bright front door (same again huh?!)...

i guess two of the rolls could maybe pass for subtle, as they have a slightly more slender fern motif going on...

i want you to picture the design above, upside down and folded in a toilet full of zizz...

the leaves look like dirty lil' devil mouths, proper uncanny it is... there's probably a horror film in that somewhere (its only a fraction of development away from modern cinematic standards already...)...

depending on the particular hue of your zizz, they look somewhere between lil' devil mouths of sh!t or blood... like seriously, this design could really do with re-thinking...

the inner roll has a fine two tone quality to it... and as we all know, that is essential for the successful deployment and application of bog-roll...

really, when it all comes down to it...

what the hell is going on with toilet rolls these days?!

i can kinda understand the aloe vera, the shea butter is just taking it a bit far...

and just what is the deal with the 'puppies on a roll', where i come from, that's just plain warped...

10-step linguine carbonara de bwoi

linguine carbonara de bwoi

250g linguine
3 eggs (i don't like eggs)
50g parmesan cheese - grated
2 small red onions
9 cloves garlic - crushed (i likes garlic i does)
150ml single cream
black pepper

1. boil up a big ole pan of water, drop in a lil' bit of oil, and the solid salt for the salt-breaking machine you don't have... once boiling, remove from hob as you have realised that linguine takes less time to cook than spaghetti so you're gonna have to do a bit more prep first.

2a. beat the eggs, cheese, a bit of black pepper and the cream together in a bowl/jug until mixture is smooth.
2b. finely chop the onions, slighlty-less-finely chop the bacon, stick a tiny drizzle of oil into a pan and place it on the hob to warm up (marvel at how the water in the first pan has changed with its salt/oil content)

3. start crushing the garlic into the oil pan as it heats up (experience should tell you that crushing this much garlic without an industrial garlic crusher may take a few minutes), when you are nearly finished start boiling the weird water again.

4. drop linguine into boiling water, stir, leave for a minute then add bacon and onion to garlic and oil.

5. you are now cooking with two pans - PANIC!!!

6. when bacon is golden, onions sweated and linguine cooked (6-7 mins roughly), drain the linguine and place on the side in a sieve or similar.

7. marvel at how the egg mixture changed, and now looks like a really weird bobbly-creamy snowscape. stir again, then add to bacon and onions.

8. cook for 30 seconds.

9. add drained linguine to mixture and fold the two together until pasta is evenly coated and then serve.

10. realise you did a properly bad job of distributing the bacon through the pasta, so spoon it on top of the served pasta, eat some cos' it looks good and at least one of the piles of additional bacon you just served looks 'a bit big' - then ENJOY.

happy time 8)

let us just stop and think about cows, for a minute...

no really...

cows... more than just a mobile whopper with a tail (or 50% of a portable, exceedingly rare surf and turf)...

pretty sh!t as a weather detection system, all that business about cows sitting down if its going to rain... (do i infer from this that where cows are standing up in the rain, that it caught them by surprise?! or that they just don't care?! like proper 'rebel cows'...)

it was raining today when i met some cows...

they were standing up...

i believe they were actually a herd of bullocks, bound he-ventually for plates and sesame buns the world over... this isn't me being cruel (or taunting cows with talk of garlic and gherkins!)

nuh-uh...

scary john craven in scary retro fashions...

as i did learn from watching country file on bbc's sign zone the other night (well the first thing i found out is that they still let scary john craven on the tele, second thing that he looks less scary with white hair, and finally that...) all british beef is tagged with two uniquely numbered tags, one in each ear, so that it can tracked from mommy-cow to burger through the food chain...

this is why british beef is currently the most expensive (and also desirable according to the craven) beef on the international market... (i personally like argentinian beef, but would also have to agree with the craven about the typically lower quality of US beef... but he said that and not me)

and these cows were so tagged...

cow - tagged (the cows i saw were near a much smaller 'brook')

but, did you ever take a second to think about how far round a cow can turn its head? or how far around themselves any given cow can see...

did you ever realise that a cow has a near-360-degree field of vision...

a cow never needs to ask if its ass looks big in this (probably)... it just has to turn around and check it out for itself...

it is seriously spooky... they don't just try and stare you out...

they follow you with their eyes, and even standing behind them is not enough to get away...

they can look around that far, that i think we should give them an 'l' and have done with it...

cow-ls... that's what they should be called, and batman can stuff-off and find another name for his head gear with his approximate 200-degree field of vision and inability to see all-around him without the use of modern technology...

face it dude... the cow got you licked up

personally i believe that if cows were jus' a lil' bit thinner, or at least their hips were 'less wide', they would be able to gaze through both time and the fabric of reality...

maybe then they wouldn't get caught out by 'surprise' rain...

fatbwoi live @ broken amp 040711

word up you crazy cats!!

how the devil does it all happen to be going?! all good i hope...

last night saw me take to the stage for the most-excellent broken amp crew at the adam and eve for my first 'this midlands' gig in a (what seems like a long) while...

and enjoy it most thoroughly did i...

but less of the yoda speak, and a bit more about the evening's entertainment... 8)

the evening was opened by stuart o'connor, i met him the other week playing at the rothwell charter festival and he asked me if i might be able to sort him out a gig on his way back from scotland... thus

he has a proper sweet psychedellic acoustic sound, with judicious application of effects and looping technology... which is always a good thing (scienceFAKT right about there).

as ever, stuart delivered an outstanding set... dude got some quality tunes and sounds, and i'd definitely advise you to check him out... i hope to catch up with him again soon...

the important stuff - sweet sneaks, and lemonade-infused beverages... 

i, for an absolute shocker opened with the one about chicken...

the bwoi was headlining the evenin', which was runnin' a lil' behind schedule, so the ineffably lovely rich asked me to hit it flying... lest the powers that be (the bar staff) tried pulling the plug on us (its the bar lady who likes to get home as early as...)

so we'd wailed through 1-800 and love once before i paused to 'have a word'... (as you do)

government done took my babies...

there was a fully-clothed version of the naked in a cape one... and by this point, it seemed things were getting a lil' rowdy...

drop an 'up-swung' kinks cover in we properly got it going on...

a lil' bit of apocalypse education, which from what i hear may have been misplaced... rich advised me that i should head over to leicester again as, despite my constant musical visits, the council over there still does not have a decent contingency plan in the event of zombie apocalypse...

that's just a lil' half assed if you ask me... but hey, any excuse to shake the thang (init)

it was a top night all-in, gotta love the broken amp crew... they always make me feel welcome, join-in, we always have a party... can't wait until the next one 8)

oh and the 2d lady was pimped out with a foxy leopard print number...

pimp my (2D) lady...

that right there, is style ladies and gentlemen...

placed opposite a full-size disco ball, you got something properly intangible...

peace-out y'all

NEXT GIG - G (of mighty Boomshadow fame)'s Birthday Thang... the one at a secret venue, where-in there shall be a 'breaking of stuff' - happy time 8)

do not be alarmed...

do not be alarmed...

do not adjust your set (which better damn well be properly licensed)...

do not remove your ornaments and valuables from their usual homes... (there isn't time and you threw out yesterdays paper so you have nothing to wrap them in...)

do not pay any attention to what you have just read...

everything is fine, the sun is (mostly) out and its the weekend...

put the crisis on hold for ten...

and live a lil'

happy time

this has been a public broadcast announcement from fatbwoi industries... home to the fatbwoi gerbil army (the sweetest smelling army in the world... but quite sh!t at making beds it would seem), and inventor of bath in a can (ok that's a bold claim... but certainly the first man to put it to song)...


its pretty much always good to add lime and/or sugar...