21st Century Communication [Rogue River]

you gotta love technology right?!

i mean true, the world is sadly STILL lacking hover-boards... but, well i'm actually gonna turn to a tweet that sums this up as well as i ever could...

and its funny that i should turn to twitter...

its a great tool, i can communicate any kind of brain-fart anywhere around the world... genius.

get a tweet of akira the don... day made.

earlier tonight, fresh after watching troll hunter, i sent a tweet about 'Rogue River', which i watched last week and in all honesty didn't rate very highly...

"Unlike Rogue River which i watched the other night, which was just draught up sh!t... #justsaying"

that's what i wrote...

despite the over-use of the word 'which', in all honesty that tweet is probably longer than any review i could be arsed to right about the film...

imagine my surprise when it was retweeted by the film's director...!!

who does seem to be a nice enough bloke...

but now i feel bad...

not because i said online that his film was sh!t, which it is... but rather that the tweet doesn't actually say what i wanted it to say...

i don't want him to have misinterpreted it as some kind of 'street' recommendation of his work... i genuinely think its sh!t...

i actually tweeted a clarification straight afterwards...

"last tweet should say 'straight up sh!t'... but 'draught up sh!t is an #autocorrect i can live with..."

but he never retweeted that, or even necessarily saw it...

had i known the original tweet would have reached out in such a direct way, i don't know if i'd have been as happy to live with the mistake...

autocorrect being another common feature in c21st communication, one which can be a cause of immense amusement...

but i don't want to get into that... just yet

peace-out y'all

Fatbwoi Live @ The Musician 260112

word up you crazy cats!! how's it goin'...?!? all good i hope...

it was proper nice taking to the stage last night for my first gig of the year (and for a while too...) to shake some thang, and open up for the most-awesome magic tombolinos...

and that's not just because the stage is carpeted... (but whilst on the subject, it is a damn nice carpeted stage!!)

it was just nice to shake a lil' dust off the ole' dance moves, grease up the limbs, and play some musics... and i think all-in it went down pretty darn well...

as opening act, my set was quite compact... but i opened with the chicken, before going on to highlight my multi-lingual abilities by counting to six in german (and doing an impression of that bloke in fear factory)...

bullet was well received, i think everyone was happy that (it being january) they didn't have to see me prancing around in the cape... it being january, i wouldn't want to be prancing round in the cape!!

it is a proven fact that leicester is unprepared in-case of zombie apocalypse, and there for it was my preordained civic duty to play Land of the Dead... one day, that song could save your life!!

all-in, a really good night... i really enjoyed it!! and the magic tombolinos were proper jazzed out and awesome... 

big love too, to the crazy cats who came out to shake some thang - made my night!!

so, until the next time...

peace-out y'all!!

being busy... [contrary to popular belief]

word up y'all!! i hope the world is good with you...

just wanted to let you know, that i have been most busy over the last couple of weeks... and not just sitting in the dark in a deep funk about the lame shape of megatron's head...

there's some really cool (and slightly out-there) stuff planned for 2012, i'll have some exciting news on new developments soon - all in, i think its gonna be a blinding year...

there has been recording, writing, mixing... updating, and all kinds of technical tomfoolery... all the details will become clear with time, but here's a lil' look-see at a few of the early ones...

first up is the new-look http://www.fatbwoi.com which has been given a bit of a spring clean/new wardrobe... the new menu is easier to navigate, and there's some secret stuff hidden around the site which can only be found by clicking on pictures and links...

the plan is to add more of these quite soon, once everything's up and running...

so if you haven't been over for a while, then there's no better time than now to go and check it out!!

also there's a couple of new ways to get your bwoi fix...

http://fatbwoi.tumblr.com - lies somewhere between the micro-weirdness of twitter, and the full-on randomness here on planet bwoi... mostly pictures, retro toys, comics, computer games and general brain candy i find whilst searching the web...

and

http://fatbwoiaudiodepository.tumblr.com - blog style audio depository... a bit like delving into a bag of sweets at the cinema as, if you hit the random button, you're never quite sure what you're going to get. there'll be some exclusive stuff posted on here, as well as all the old/new favourites, so keep checking back and sampling the musical tidbits...

peace-out y'all

megatron's head...

yes, it would appear that i am STILL going on...

further to earlier megatron's head related rant, there is no way that you can tell me this its an appropriate head for the ultimate bad-ass decepticon leader...

this ultimate bad-ass decepticon leader...

with this head...

yeah right... that's just cracked off!

lets be honest about this, it looks like the weight of his head is going to pull it over to one side at any minute... either that, or he is wearing an ultra-hard-wearing granny hood...

i'm not overly fussed on the pattern either, but am willing, on this occasion, to let it slide...

especially when we take into the consideration the body that it was put upon...

indeed...

it truly beggars belief...

but, on the plus side, it does reinforce my 'pop' theory about how kids perceive cool...

"ain't no kid wants to be luke skywalker"

and

"there's a reason all the kids had optimus prime"
(and its nothing to do with mispronouncing it octopus!)

i think its pretty self evident, but if its not, the best way to get an in-depth explanation is to track me down and get me wasted... its like proper pop headology (or something)

i promise to lay off the megatron for a while...

peace-out y'all

vote bwoi

word up you crazy cats!! how's it all goin'...?!

need to ask a small favour... can i tempt you into voting for me to support graham coxon on tour?!

all you need to do is click this link, http://t.co/K3JgFjPo ...and log in via your facebook or twitter! its dead simple, and it would mean the world to me! i think graham coxon is the bomb, and the opportunity to support him...

well, i don't think i need to finish that sentence!

i hope the world is good with you...

big love

fb

NEXT GIG 260112 - supporting The Magic Tombolinos, @ The Musician

word up you crazy cats!!

how's the world with you...

its just over two weeks to my next gig, supporting The Magic Tombolinos @ The Musician in Leicester. Fay Brotherhood is playing, and all in promises to be a quality night of music....

personally i'm proper excited about it...

as rob brydon put it, "they do do energetic... they do nuclear"

this is gonna rock...

tickets are £7adv and can be ordered via this handy link - wegottickets

why not c'mon down - shake some thang?! 8)

from megatron, to galvatron...

megatron is a pretty bad ass dude...

bit of a tendency to cut and run, and not so good at choosing lieutenants... but savage, merciless and cruel nonetheless...

in comparision, prime is a bit of nancy.

its like that whole "no kid wants to be luke skywalker thing", prime is cool, but he is the robotic equivalent of a farm boy...

megatron has a big cannon... mounted on his arm

he transforms into a gun, which is too large for any transformer (including metroplex, the uhm,... city-sized transformer) to actually use... in terms of the G1 toys, the scaling's a bit off...

and the G1 toy's robot mode does look clunky and lame...

i think this, and the fact that he transforms into a gun, maybe partly to blame for why so many of my friends had their own optimus prime... he transformed into a truck, with a lil' scooter and a robot (with missles and a bendy bit) in the trailer...

but megatron is a bad ass mo-fo, and transforms into a godamn gun...

BOOM!

so, obviously i was a little concerned when, having had a bit of a ruck with prime and essentially fallen off a high balcony, he was thrown outta the back of astrotrain as deadweight in deep space...

astrotrain says there was too much weight...

i say astrotrain wasn't trying hard enough!!!

then along floats unicron, and remodels our apparently 'unhealthy' bad ass mofo into galvatron...

some kinda megatron-sqaured, well there was a grid involved...

and galvatron, yeah... he's pretty bad-ass...

once more with the shoulder cannon, he even transforms into a cannon...

quite a bad-ass one too, as he manages to atomise the newly crowned decepticon leader, starscream (who else) with one neatly placed shot...

he's clearly got some issues, and for what he may have lost in mercilessness he has easily gained in brain-bubbles...

he's some kind of deep allegory as he struggles to directly take on his own creator/god, even though this omnipotent being is capable of interfering directly with his inner workings...

and that takes balls...

now, i was too young to realise that this transformation, and indeed the movie were all part of a cynical marketing ploy... a smoothly executed ploy, much less rushed than the year on year compulsory brand expansions we're plagued by now...

but it was plausible. whilst the toy version of megatron was quite lame, and definitely dated, the animated megatron was truly timeless...

galvatron seemed a reasonable update, more streamlined, more colourful and with angled pointy bits on his head... definitely more futuristic...

the animated galvatron (occaisionally needed a darker face) was one you definitely felt was going somewhere... and if not equal to his predecessor, at least more fit for the job than starscream...

but somehow with the toy, the impossible was achieved...

it was actually worse than the original megatron toy... pointy head bits gone and replaced with crenellations that give the look of a crown...

he transforms into a gun... straight out of some disco-nightmare barbarella...

i mean really, what self-respecting leader of all things evil would transform into such a lame retro-future zap gun?!

so we learnt that it was probably better to play G1 transformers without the leaders (don't get me started on ultra magns), pretend like they're on some sort of secret mission, or they've been kidnapped or something...

we learnt that the more 'futuristic' the transformer, the more likely it was to have some kind of nodule on its head...

we learnt that some transformers were just better left drawn, or animated, as cheap production limited our leaders awesomeness...

through this we learnt that galvatron always stayed a lil' quirky...

and of course, it was galvatron's 'issues' eventually brought about the end of the world...

but that's a different story...

one in which bad-ass megatron, and crazy mo-fo galvatron exist at the same time...

and that, is the way i like it

tagbank

word up you crazy cats!! y'all good?!?

it would appear that the time for 'Parva Doodles' is nearly upon us! (oh yes indeedy!)

yup, there's been a whole lot of mixing down here at culture corner, and i think i'm just about ready to unleash my baby into the world...

best billed as - "the answer to a question nobody asked...", i promise to provide a more in-depth (and indeed clear) explanation very soon, but for now that's as good a starting point as any...

so without further ado, ladies and gentlemen i present to you a sneak preview (the opening track, in fact) from the forthcoming 'Parva Doodles' EP...



coming soon to speakers near you...

peace-out y'all

#still_not_my_cat

i don't actually own a cat...

no really...

i used to live in a house with a lot of cats...

but since then i have pretty much always not had a cat...

its a condition that i've got quite used to living with...

so imagine my surprise on coming downstairs to find the portal to 'culture corner' closed, actually that's not the surprising bit - that happened afterwards... and upon opening said portal, being greeted with the sight of dudley (still_not_my_cat) indulgently licking his balls on my sofa...

never has a cat looked more at ease, more pampered, more relaxed...

this cat doesn't care where i'm meant to sit, oh no, he's comfortable...

and that's all that matters!

but dudley, you're STILL not my bloody cat...

you don't live here...

you don't appear to be taking over my twitter photo-stream...

see, its not just a random collection of pictures of you in my house (where you don't live) and cubase screenshots (although i have been mixing quite a bit recently... more on that later)  

and i have never dashed back in through the front door in an effort to avoid you...

sure its a testament to cat intelligence that you have now managed to associate both the front and back doors with being my house, especially seeing as its not your bloody house...

you're pretty good at playing scarf outside when its cold, i have never know a cat so ready to jump on on someone's shoulders and keep their neck warm...

but your hugs are a bit 'no-one loves me' and sub-standard - must try harder!

although at the end of the day, you're still not my cat...

and you're sitting in my seat...

some dates for your diary...

word up you crazy cats!!

that's right... i'm back! and in line with both my civic and legal duties, i gotta give you a lil' heads up on some of the dates already in the diary for 2012...

you see, 'the powers that be' dictate that i must warn y'all as to where and whence i am to be found... i don't think they like me, but, when it all comes down to it, what the hell do they know anywho?!

these are the places i'll be... can't wait to see you there...

first gig of the year is January 26th, supporting the most-excellent gypsy rock/jazzer types 'The Magic Tombolinos' at The Musician in Leicester... fay brotherhood is also playing, and i reckon all in this is going to be a stellar night... really excited about this one!!

and my love for the broken amp boy's is one of the greatest loves in modern literary history...

                   THURS JAN 26th - The Musician, Leicester
                   -   supporting The Magic Tombolinos £7adv/£9otd - get tickets

                   MON FEB 27th - Broken Amp @ The Adam and Eve, Birmingham

                   TUES FEB 28th - NB's, Northampton

peace-out y'all

Godt Nytår you crazy cats!!

Godt Nytår you crazy cats!! this one goes out to everyone who came down to shake some thang, sang along or even just hassled my ass online... thank you!!
i got some some crazy sh!t planned for 2012 and i can't wait to see some of you cats at the party - is nice... happy time 8)

i've got one of those... only bigger!

big love from fb and the amazing frau linenwrecker (without whom so lil' would be possible), coming right out of your computer and into you face... yummy!! i will start divulging soon... (eeeew... sounds oozy)

until then, big love y'all...

peace-out 8)