that book...

i finished that book...

the one that took 300 pages to get good.

it didn't burn itself out...

quite the opposite in-fact... the tension was continually cranked up, and the story itself continued developing right until the end...

and then some seriously fantastical sh!t happened real quickly, was kind of brushed over, and we hit the epilogue...

seriously, wtf is with that?

hack out some of your bibbly description of the WI countryside, and hit me up with more of the flame-throwing rings and mutant supernatural bad guys...

its like peter jackson's lord of the rings all over again... they could have largely hacked out most of the first movie... "yes, new zealand is beautiful... wow, there really is some rugged scenery... with some hairy-footed people walking on it"... cut-out some of that business, make up the rest of the time with cool as you like slo-mo fx shots...

or remember that the trilogy rocks in at over 9 hours long, and just trail a bit on the cutting room floor...

i always liked the 1978 animated version... 'sa bit dark and everything. the orcses are proper random and a bit spooky...

i especially liked the version i had recorded on VHS (complete with spongey box bold adverts) where the channel four announcer pointed out they'd never had enough money to finish the project and filled we, the viewers, in on the remainder of the story line before the credits had even finished...

now that's story-telling...

two beings out of time...

the moment that started the end of not just our world, that of quintessa (not such a bad thing... esp as it happened a long time before the destruction of earth), but also the end of time itself...

two beings 'out of time' having travelled back from the year 2008 to seek out galvatron (also from 2008), and having by-passed the usual one for one exchange principle by which radical time-travel is regulated, the death of cyclonus years before he was even created was too much for the delicate fabric of space-time which ruptured...

but that's alright, because time-travel is not possible...

oh wait...

CERN broke science (twice), and doctor cox could only explain the first event away as 'mis-calibration'...

oh no... 

and, perhaps most disturbingly of all, it seems to have seriously 'messed with the processes' of the uber-cool cyclopean transformer shockwave...

and that's just not cricket at all...

not getting eaten by bears...

following the whole 'Bullet' experience, i think its safe to say that i don't always have the best time of it when it comes to woodland... (but really... how the hell does a mermaid get up in a tree anyway?!)

but i'm aware that this is my dysfunction, and as such have been taking steps to tackle it...

one such step was the scheduling of a photo-shoot with the lovely jo masey, in that most dreaded of locations... nature.

my mission, was simply not to get dive-bombed by a mermaid...

one of the key differences between this and the bullet video being that this time i was dressed... the other, and probably most important was that this time i was armed... i had a guitar! this simple fact opens up two interesting possibilities in the event of mermaid/fantastical creature attack...

1. i could sing at them, hope that the dig the thang-shaking thing (it being a new sound completely unheard in their natural realm) and that i can distract them long enough for something shiny/not me to appear and catch their attention

2. use it as a club... although i love my guitar, so this is very unlikely... i could wield it and make like an angry gaz from supergrass (so i've been told) in the hope that they go away... 

did i feel less 'safe' when my guitar was out of reach?

uhm, yeah... slightly

did i stop me from resting my ass up against a tree and getting down with some nature groove?!

hell no...

i was like [to the guitar] "you sit hear a sec while i space me out some jazzy beats..."

and there was this definite kind of jazz thing going down... well that, and a slightly disturbing feeling of unsure footing... that'll be the logs, and the chips, and the foiliage...

all in it was a lot of fun, you can view the full album via the magic of bookface, here...

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150407386988470.383327.15364453469&type=3

and just in case you're wondering what in the devil this mermaids and fantastical creatures business i keep going on about is, well, here's a lil' reminder...

if you go down to the woods today...

peace-out y'all 8)

presenting... "happy dragon starter platter"

PRESENTING, FOR YOUR THANG-SHAKIN' ENJOYMENT...

AN UPBEAT IRREVERENT 'FATBWOI BOMB' 

 DISC-SHAPED, TO FIT NEATLY INTO YOUR HAND!!

(feat. the talents of - Baritone Bwoi, Stereo Omar ...and MORE)

9-TRACKS 

 from across the 'Relentless', 'Love Once', and 'Triple H' EPs

incl. Bullet, Love Once, The Soulcalibur Song and Forces

STRICTLY LIMITED TO 43 COPIES!!

each CD is individually crafted feat. 

a hand drawn CD, and lo-fi monochrome liner...

presented in a brightly coloured fold-out wallet...

(5 colours available)

GRAB YOURSELF ONE OF THESE ULTRA-RARE BAD BWOI'S...
BY CATCHING THE FATBWOI LIVE - £3
or
ORDER ONE BY POST, BY EMAILING HERE - £4.25 (inc p+p)

full tracklisting
1. Love Once

 2. 1-800

3. Mailman

4. Forces

5. Evil Plaque

6. Here Come The Spider People
7. Love Once [Fatbwoi 5]

8. The Soulcalibur Song [Fatbwoi 5]

9. Bullet [Fatbwoi 5]

'HAPPY DRAGON STARTER PLATTER' IS ONLY AVAILABLE ON CD

***update... only 41 copies of this CD remaining... get yours now!!!***

***UPDATE... less than 20 copies remaining... get yours now!!!***

reading a book...

i am reading a book, that has taken 300 pages to get good...

the first 300 aren't bad, they're just a preamble to the bit where it gets good...

its all right though... there's over 500 pages left...

let's hope it doesn't burn itself out to quick now eh?!

squash 2...

the squash is back...

in a bigger bottle...

same destructions... 
(for simplicity's sake)

however the serving suggestion is still sadly missing...

pretend rice krispies should be served with milk... and an owl.
(that's what it says on the box)

(don't argue with the box man...)

discography (releases like buses...)

word up you crazy cats!!

there's a whole bunch of random fatbwoi music floating out and about in the world of cyberspace... usually random demos, radio appearances and such-like... there's been very little out there for the discerning listener to download...

i've been questioned several times as to when i'm going to release something, and let it not be said that fatbwoi release's are like buses, it definitely wasn't a case of nothing for ages and then three turn up at once...

honest...

so without further ado, here is - 

the official fatbwoi discography (with links)

'Love Once' EP  (05/09/2011)

1. Love Once

2. 1-800

3. Mailman

4. Forces

5. Evil Plaque

download it via itunes
or alternatively you can...
download it via bandcamp (cheapest)
stream it via spotify

'Triple H' EP (04/09/11)
1. Hard (Demo Mix)
2. Higher Level (Demo Mix)
3. Here Come The Spider People

download it for FREE @ bandcamp



'Can You Hear Me Now?' double A-side (01/09/11)
1. Intro
2. Can You Hear Me Now? (Acoustic Version)
3. Can You Hear Me Now? (Original Version)

download for FREE @ bandcamp



'Relentless' EP (08/04/10)
1. Love Once
2. The Soulcalibur Song
3. Bullet

available for download @ bandcamp (name your own price... including FREE!)

the vast majority of these tracks, and some other random ones, are available to stream via the magic of...

http://www.reverbnation.com/fatbwoi
(avec gig dates, pictures and other such use(less) information)

or

http://soundcloud.com/fatbwoi

"opal fruit music for a starburst world" - happy time

new date - Broken Amp 12/12/11

that's right you crazy cats...

there's a new date for your diary... the bwoi will be shaking that thang for your delectation live at broken amp (Mon - 12/12/11)...

we gonna party like its nearly a date that has three occurrences of the same number... (or alternatively pretend its next year and the felicitous arrangement of digits is already upon us!!)...

more details via this lil' bookface link...

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121256217986371

see you there...

computron is such a dick...

computron is such a dick....

let's face it, by the end of G1, transformers was getting a bit confused... there were firecon's, seacons (fish decepticons), pretenders, little mini car guy's that shot sparks outta their asses...

not to mention headmasters, targetmasters and powermasters...

i have to admit that, at the time, i thought the headmasters and targetmasters were quite cool... two robots in one, and BIG guns - the toys were quite cool... the idea was a bit weird, why would you want to get engineered, don armour, and become a big robots gun?!

and by the same premise... who the hell would want to be a powermaster? get yourself engineered into a suit and become a giant robot's battery...?! uhm,... what-now?!

its fair to say that in the end, it did all get a bit 'gimick-y'...

the first real gimick was the combiners, and some of the early one's were quite cool... (there was maybe an issue with scaling, motormaster was supposed to be the same size as optimus prime, but was like some kind of mini-truck, out of scale with every other transformer in existence) ... there was bruticus, defensor was quite cool cos he had blades on his arm...

devastator...

then a few sh!t ones...

a return to form with the predacons... i loved the g1 predacons, they combined in a way the dinobots always should've, but didn't...

but even this gimmick lost its cool eventually...

i mean, just what in hell is going on by the team we get to the seacons... they're a bunch of fish... and computron, wel...

i guess i even get the gimmick with fish... the decepticons were going quite 'animal' at the time...

but computron is just a massive nerd, made from futuristic looking vehicles (his arm is something akin to a tron cycle, and there's some kind of guns at the front plane)...

so the decepticons go a bit primal... the autobots just create the next super-nerd in (let's face it) a long line of super-nerd's including perceptor and c3-po... well ok that's not true, but he might as well be...

scoot! oh yeah, well hard probability boy...

personally i think i'd prefer it if super intelligent grimlock had stuck around... it would have been funny to watch the technobots get whooped as he did, as without the upload they were pretty darn useless...

what i never understood as a kid, was why all the leaders of the combiner teams used to go to the trouble of indentifying each member of the team clearly, and then stating the name of their combined form... i get it now, the whole advertising angle... 

but as a kid i used to just think "if you spent less time clearly identifying each other, and rabbiting on the problem with which you are about to deal would already be solved!"

... "surely you know the name of your combined form... you must have done it hundreds of times before..."

"don't call me shirley..."

"oh! uhm,... ok then..."

fatbwoi @ reverbnation

feat. some of the latest greatest tunes - straight off of planet bwoi... 

direct to the comfort of your own home

that's right you crazy cats! with this funky lil' widget you can shake your thang 

to tracks off the 'Love Once' and 'Triple H' EP's...

the acoustic and rap-rock versions of  'Can Your Hear Me Now?' 

(lifted straight from the double A-side thingy...)

...and MORE!!!

just kick back, don your favourite pair of slippers and let your thang do the work...

you can even download free tracks from this magical lil' widget... happy time

more information and bwoi related goodness - http://www.reverbnation.com/fatbwoi

fatbwoi downloads via http://www.fatbwoi.bandcamp.com

band for the day 161111

presenting (via the magic of http://wwwbandfortheday.com) 

...your 'Band For The Day' 16th November 2011 - 

Fatbwoi

so if you found yourself with a mysterious hankering for some bwoi-ton tunes today, its probably subliminal microwaves transmitted from the internet via a wide variety of tele-communication and computing devices...

(or something...)

i even won a prize... a golden amp!! or more accurately, a winners 'badge' for my website complete with WWFC style old-gold (orange) lettering - i likes orange i does...(this came bundled with the knowledge that should i win band for the day two more times, i'll be inducted into the BftD Hall of Fame - which has rather a nice ring to it, don't ya think?!)

so humpday actually sprang an ok surprise... (although there was an extremely limited range of noodles in tesco's, but we'll leave that for another time...)

although don't in any way feel that listening to bwoi tunes is any less of an enjoyable experience on days that are not the 16th of november... i'll bet it would make your thang shake just the same on the 17th and 18th too!! why not try it?! its a lot less hassle than those derren brown hypnosis 'experiments'...

http://www.facebook.com/fatbwoi.13

http://www.fatbwoi.com

i hope the world is good with you...

peace-out y'all

the words in my dictionary...

i've heard it said that you can tell a lot about a person from the words in their phone dictionaries... you know, the predictive text kind which i shall for sake of argument (and a distinct non-arsedness to just check google to see what it actually is) call T9...

tbh, i don't know if i've heard it said, or i just dreamed it in a dream (i've been having a lot of weird dreams lately)... but i'll bet its kind of fun...

thus, the words lifted from the previously-difficult-to-locate T9 dictionary (see previous blog) hidden deep within the bowels of techno-phone...

aiii

alrite

ass

bankrupted

blud

brum

chica

could've

Damn

damned

dem

Dons

Dudley

enunciate

ese

fatbwoi

Fiddy

fucking

Han

hippy

hombre

icthyologist

inabit

init

Irie

Jobi

lil'

Lil'

linenwrecker

Omar

Oooh

peng

playin'

reverbnation

shit

should've

snooze

suss

uhm

Umami

uni

... and there we have it, take from that what you will - right on 8)

squash...

no added sugar 
(cool)

improved! - now 30% more fruit juice
(ok, but its a new flavour... but then i suppose the fact that there is now a flavour implies that more fruit was used than before...)

cherries & berries squash - double strength
(hell yeah... concentrate it baby)

concentrated no added sugar apple, cherry, strawberry & raspberry juice drink with sweeteners
(hence the lack of extra sugar)

use half as much! 30+ servings
(wicked. now, how much was i supposed to use in the first place?!)

...
(serving suggestion is sadly lacking, but i bet it would go great on a roll with a bit of salad leaf... typical serving suggestions, that don't involve cereal, suggest that this is the normal way of serving everything...)

Dear Mr Clostermann...

Dear Mr Clostermann,

how the devils be ye?! All good i hope...?!?

as you are aware, i recently purchased a techno-phone (one of those with a whole heap of technology that is probably capable of flying to the moon on its own, before plotting a second low-g launch and leaving us for mars...) which i have been having some 'moments' adjusting too...

the reason i have upgraded to such a technological marvel is complex and convoluted, and either based in a bunch of words that end in '...ivity', or some kind of mid-32 crisis, and for this reason i have decided not to explore them any further at this point...

the old 'touch screen-functionality' is something in particular i have been struggling with, although i do feel this may in part be connected to an age old memory of the 'search for books by sticking you greasy paws on the screen' machine that used to reside in CMK library... but i digress...

its mainly the getting it to type the word i actually asked it to type and not filling my t9 dictionary (predictive text being something i have avoided using on every other phone i have ever possessed) with random streams of letters and gibberish...

let us not mention the tweets involving the word "i'be", which whilst cute in its own kinda retro/ye-olde worlde way, is not something i would ever type... well certainly not with an apostrophe in it. "i are be not well" is a text i have sent this week, as is "i be king of the planets", note in neither case was an apostrophe deployed...

and this is where you come into the story... as you are aware, i did email you for advice on finding my dictionary, which after finding on the first day i had the phone had seemingly disappeared into a myriad of menus and button presses (including buttons which aren't actually buttons - most confusing)...

first i must thank you for your direction... it was clear, concise, and i managed to scrub some hideous amalgamations from my dictionary - good skills that man

secondly you made a recommendation, that i use swype... sent me a link and everything...

and this is where it all went a bit wrong... you see, you sent me a link for swype (one which i have since used, and dude "what a recommendation - thank you!!")... however my initial attempts to obtain this app were conducted via the medium of said techno-phone, which may in itself be foolish, but it lead me somewhere...

it lead me to a game called 'zombie swype'... and i think you know what happened next?! i saw the 'z' word, and we all know that i cannot be held responsible for my actions in the presence of the 'z' word...

so down it was loaded, unto techno phone...

and now i cannot stop playing it! i appear to have developed an addiction to poking zombies in the face... and watching them disappear...

i currently have the 3rd and 4th highest scores ever (there's only probably eight people who've downloaded it ever, or similar) and i have a feeling that 1st and 2nd will fall to me in the next 24 hours...

this game rules... its kicked a hole in my 'champ manager' addiction (if its good enough for plan b its good enough for me), but also appears to have curtailed the whole connectivity of techno phone as i am spending a large amount of time poking the living dead in the face...

if i put the phone down long enough, i may even complete the zombie trilogy with a song about the 'zombies that wolf gave me'...

so i must thank you once more for your most excellent recommendation... one i would pass on to all htc users with the words "thank wolf" (i told mel on saturday, she says 'thanks')... however should a the situation arise, can you please prefix (or suffix) the recommendation with

"go straight past the zombies, where available collect £200, but do not stop at zombie or else you will get very little done..."

i hope the world is good with you

big love

fatbwoi

the tree is on fire...

the tree is on fire...

the helicopter is out...

the helicopter is not attending the tree fire, but rather hovering in an almost geostationary manner over what may be a lake, a road, or a big shop...

it has something to do with fireworks...

"i told you we shouldn't have buried that one"

oh yeah, you're proper hilarious you...

the helicopter is probably not over the stadium, it must be cheaper (although less portable) to use the in-house floodlights...

that would more 'sound' both economically and ecologically...

solar panels have improved the day-time efficiency of the local leisure centre, however year on year stats show a decrease in night-time efficiency that offsetting will not balance out...

i'm gonna walk to marks'... get me some smokes

which is both economically and ecologically sound...

the tree is on fire...

the helicopter is out...

Der Affe ist nicht unter dem Tisch

...is this thing on?!

uhm,... hello?!

is this thing on?! are we hot?! ...good to go?!

cool.

i gotta apologise for the recent short-fall in blog delivery, there's been a few changes round here, and between one thing and another, i was forced to spend the last few months in a decompression unit at south mimms' services...

before we even get onto the connection, the facilities themselves were terrible... although there was admittedly no repeat of the northampton services sh!t mountain episode...

thank the maker.

i was however digging the oversize bwoi-ball vibe... like one of those gerbil balls, slightly more controlled than zorbing, considerably more sophisticated and cooler lookin'...

but i am back once again... with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour...

the other night i spent over an hour wondering whether or not there was a cadbury's "screme egg" melting under my ass... turns out it wasn't, and it survived for a further 10 days (a record), before being munched by frau linenwrecker...

the green bit in the middle is a tad wrong, but not a patch on freaky fingers... there's some serious colouration issues going on there...

but nah, its all good... i'm putting the final touches to culture corner studios - output from which will be appearing soon, and working out some funky business for the end of this year into the next....

'sall lookin' good y'all

thanks for watching

peace-out!!

upcoming gigs alert... (avec le widget)

the bwoi will be out once again in public, shaking that thang for your delectation...

and obviously in-line with my civic duty, i just have to tell you where... (its for your own safety, or somebody's safety, i forget...)

to this end, i have pasted this lil' do-hickey with big blobs on a map where i can be found...

that's proper 21st century and everything...

an in plain text that's...

28th August - Rhett Barrow's Album Launch, The Soundhouse, Lecicester

10th September - Artsfest @ The Flapper, Birmingham

11th September - Booze Fusion Festival 2011, The Vic Bikers Pub, Coalville

26th October - Rowell Charter Acoustic Club, Kettering

peace-out y'all

fatbwoi live @ worcester music festival 200811

word-up ye crazy cats! how the devil's is it goin' with you?!

things are, as ever a bit mental on planet bwoi at the minute (although i should state for the record that there are of course different definitions of mental, and it hasn't quite got "don't blame me, blame the ice-cream" levels yet...)

bur the mental never gets in the way of the thang-shakery (although it has been said that the two walk hand in hand) and as such i did step out last week to wiggle it (just a lil' bit) at 'The Boston Tea Party' as part of Worcester Music Festival 2011!!

and i must confess to having had a most-excellent time...

car/parking-related shenanigans meant that i didn't get to catch those crazy less for murder cats whilst they were playing, but it was nice to sit and have a lil' chinwag in the chippy before my set/mooching back up to the venue...

(there was truly supreme toy-shop window en route too... i cannot tell you what was in it for fear of appearing more of a geek than i do now - but rest assured, it was cool)

the venue was top... it had an aeroplane stuck the ceiling, some properly yummy looking cake-age... like, uhm,... props and everything!!

opened with some chicken, lil' bit of tv evangelism, and had just got into discussing the whole running naked around the woods being chased by a bear thing, when the legend that is I've Been Dean (avec entourage) appeared at the door in his glowing daz white jeans...

from there on in, it got a lil' kooky... 8)

we had a bit of a party atmos going on... so the set list got a bit free and easy at the end! i felt bad because i had to deny a request for 'house of corpses' (its been too long since i played it, but i'll slip in sometime soon), but less bad at denying of for the song about the woman with a habit...

instead we settled for a quick burst of the krshna song... proximity to the godhead re-established, we got on with the party...

then in honour of the post-modern one (i.b.dean) i did me a lil' book-ending and closed with an exuberant burst of nandos...

went down a treat...

i even had a portugese dude telling me how his dad makes the best piri piri ever, i asked him to send me the recipe but i get the impression that it may be a 'family' secret, in which case i've asked if he can just send his dad...

no reply on that so far...

all in it was a really good night, met some top new people and got to touch base with some top older friends AND got to shake that thang...

what more can a bwoi ask for?!

(took me friggin' ages to find the car though...)

Love Once EP @ amazon

word up you crazy cats!!!

most-excellent news... if alyson hannigan has forever altered your outlook on 'bandcamp', the Love Once EP is now available to download via the magic of amazon.co.uk!

or more specifically, this link...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Love-Once-EP/dp/B005GI75YA/ref=sr_shvl_album_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1312888302&sr=301-1

happy time

each track can be downloaded individually for 79p, or you can download the whole EP for £3.95...

further-more, if you join my mailing list either via http://www.fatbwoi.com or http://www.reverbnation.com/fatbwoi - i'll make sure you get the same bonus material promised to the people of bandcamp when 'B.o.t.Q' is released...

right-on

chris's sexy dance... (& the roscoe experiment)

word up you crazy cats... how's it goin'?! all good i hope...

here-in lies the answer to a question i'm pretty sure was never asked... that old doozy, what would happen if the bwoi downed tools and started making electronic music?! (and as questions go... that's pretty specific right about there...)

but there would be some sense in asking it... because before i got on this fatbwoi tip, i used to make electronic music under the guise of the roscoe experiment... kinda funky bigbeat/breakbeat largely based around a collection of samplers and the desire to shake some funky thang...

T.R.E started in 2004, and there's occaisional evidence that the experiments (of an unknown nature obviously) continue to this day... i can neither confirm or deny this...

one such piece of evidence would be the 'Chris's Sexy Dance' project (aka the monday night club)... rumour has it that each of these tracks were written and recorded in one night, across a series of mondays in the summer of 2009...

but that's just rumour... really, when it all comes down to it... who knows?

but its a dirty pleasure you can sample right about now thanks to the joys of bandcamp and the interweb...

the title track never actually made it onto the final release... but there is a video, hidden deep within the bowels of youtube... it features the magic cornflake box hat - which is, quite frankly, possibly the worst bit of stage-gear ever; and some snow...

in fact... here it be 8)

three's another two tracks, that are currently lost in the mists of time... an electro dub type thing, and some experimental electronica loosely based on dennis hopper's truck from land of the dead... with one night to write and complete a tune... things can get a bit strange...

so there you have it... the answer to a question that was probably never asked... and a lovely lil' bit of ear candy...

peace-out y'all

fatbwoi @ reverbnation

word up you crazy cats...

just a quick one to let you now that there is now another place on the web where you can get your bwoi fix...

si senor y senoritas, it is now possible to keep track of the comings and goings of el chico gordo via the magic of reverbnation...

there's a page, here's a link and everything...

http://www.reverbnation.com/fatbwoi

its got a player, which currently features tracks off both the new 'Love Once' EP, and also from FB5's classic 'Relentless' EP... you can even see the naked-in-a-cape 'Bullet' video there too - happy time

there's a whole bunch of share-y business, a chart (i moved up a whooping 98k places globally yesterday - far out), and a large pile of other bwoi related goodness...

i'll be uploading some more goodies soon, i'm currently reeling from having moved my profile up from 17% complete to 94%... it would appear that the 90's numbers are really working for me about now...

so why not pop over and have a look see... it'll be fun 8)

another great feature is you can paste widgets with bwoi music on them all over the place... thus 

and, as another happy bonus... my facebook page is now using the reverbnation player rather than the patchy facebook one which wouldn't let you skip through tunes, and was just a bit lame...

that's right y'all...

a shiny new player over at http://www.facebook.com/fatbwoi.13

the party is on this side of the car...

happy time

nice beard dude...

well, it would appear to be back again...

yeah, the beard has returned...

and i'm not sure how...

i only realised when someone said to me last night "hey man, loving the beard dude!", i wouldn't say that i was oblivious up till that point, but it still hadn't fully registered...

hence my reply, with was received with much hilarity "nah man, its not a beard, its laziness... that's just where it grows", which it is... there is zero planning or preparation goes into this thing, it just does as it does...

but it never gets straggly until it has been identified as a beard... until that point the neatness of the growth seems inconsequential... the second that it is named beard bits appear to be sticking out, and it lacks shape...

i personally become very aware of the curly oil black fly hairs which grow in their own comb-over formation on me chin... it do find it a lil' disturbing that i can grow a (whole bunch of) hair that is that 'wrong'... bad times...

maybe i'll set the man strimmer on it... or do it like those posh gardener types with a tiny pair of scissors...

it feels weird when i sing and sweat into it... but i think it went well with the two-piece (they offset each other perfectly at the fb5 luau)...

beard (untrimmed), vein, and two piece @ fb5 luau - well complimentary 8)

but if i man strimmer it, what number to chose... do i want a 7 or a 5, which number did i assault the burns with last time... how hard to press... there's so many potential pit-falls

today i have mostly been worrying about my 'apparent' beard...

gigs in august

word up ye crazy cats!! hows the devils is it goin'?!

i'm back once again, with both the ill-behaviour, and in line with my legally obliged civic duty to inform...

yes, there's gonna be some thang-shakery afoot during the month of august... and i just gotta take this opportunity to warn you about it... (or something) :P

i've also confirmed another night at the rowell charter acoustic club... 26th October, more details closer to the time - think i may just have to don something slightly more gormless than usual given the proximity to halloween... any excuse 8)

gonna be a good 'un...

so, gigs in august, and one in october...

Sat 20th August - The Boston Tea Party @ Worcester Music Festival

- taking to the stage as part of the worcester music festival, a whole host of quality musics presented over the weekend, and me... playing at the boston tea party (onstage @ 19.00hrs-ish)

Sun 28th August - The Soundhouse, Leicester (tbc)

- taking to the stage as part of my good mate rhett barrow's album release party... dedbeat melodies, proper quality cut by a quality musician... gonna be a good night with a whole host of quality music on display - happy time

Weds 26th October - Rowell Charter Inn Acoustic Club, Rothwell

- bustin' some moves and poppin' some grooves onstage again with the rowell charter crew... always a quality night, in a top notch venue... c'mon down - right on 8)

peace-out y'all

co-owner of a wok...

yeah man...

i am now officially co-owner of a wok!!!

i've never been the co-owner (or sole owner) of a wok before... its quite a nice feeling really 8)

obviously i report that in purely scientific times, and for purely scientific reasons...

christened it last night too...

with the prawns (gotta love cooking prawns), the tomatoes, the mushrooms, garlic and wine - right on!! not the most stir-fry of meals, but enjoy cooking it in the wok did i...

linenwrecker enjoyed the results too... threw some stuff in a wok, sat down and had a munch together, one of those lovely moments where you know everything is gonna be alright...

and, to top it all off...

prawns go in grey

prawns come out pink

MAGIC WOK!!! 8)

tripping up over rizla

you gotta feel the word as it lollops off your tongue...

riz-la

kinda silky, yet kinda awkward...

riz-la

that z, just crying out at the abuses against its human rights that force it to be a 'z' rather than a much free-er 'th'...

riz-la

like a name on the wind...

riz-la

waiting patiently to trip you up...

riz-la

now stand in a queue in a shop, mentally running through your shopping list to make sure nothing has evaded you and you return from the shops triumphant, a hero, a true being of the age...

riz-la

you have the milk, the stuff of the shelf of decay, maybe even a cheeky bag of skittles, all of these items you can purchase without ever actually having to say anything to the cashier (should the mood strike you)

riz-la

and now we come to the items behind the counter, the items you can't have unless you interact directly with the aforementioned cashier - the security packaged razor blades, the pokemon cards, the...

riz-la

and watch how you just can't say it without sound like you have just completely lost the ability to talk, you watch as that 'z' jabs its way toward being a 'th', your tongue gets fat, and you can't even begin to say the word correctly...

riz-la

a drunken slurring in the middle, a enforced linguistic abbreviation, i don't know what it is... but all the time in the queue, and any other time chatting with your mates - no problem

riz-la

but right here, right now... no-go

riz-la

and it sounds like you can't talk...

riz-la

and you just hope the cashier doesn't ask you to repeat yourself...

riz-la

fatbwoi live @ the sunflower lounge 230711

word up y'all...

done did play me a lil' set on saturday night, downstairs at the sunflower lounge in central birmingham, where the air is hot and humid, and there is an interesting array of scaffolding and fairy lights...

although i think the more appropriate architectural term would probably be someting like 'feature'...

if ya wore it on your head, it'd definitely be a fascinator...

the occasion?! G (of mighty boomshadow fame)'s nth birthday, or 'living wake' as he preferable to call it... and i for one cannot think of a better reason for a bit of celebration...

G opened the evening's entertainment with a solo set, quality tunage delivered on his stratacoustic... and i haven't seen the big G t-shirt before, but i like it... i noticed that there were no covers in my man's set, but put it down to the shorter-sets-to-wedge-in-as-much-entertainment-as-possible nature of the night...

next up was the man-god dale perry, with a short solo set... haven't seen the man d play for a while, and i really enjoyed his set. i could still here some of the dub-no basslines i applied when i stood in on the four-string for 'I Am Locutus' at 2009's Worcester Music Festival... they probably didn't need that much dub at the time... but you can't stop a bwoi in full flow... 8)

g returned to the stage, backed by two guitars, a bass, and the living legend that is paul carroll on the skins... then delivered a supreme collection of (mostly) who covers... it was nice to see g letting his hair down, and busting some move sans guitar, and the PC groove machine in full effect is a truly excellent sight to behold, and i defy anybody not to shake their thang to his infectious rhythmic stylings...

and then i...

my man laurence (1k that's his name) welcomed me on with a properly heart-warming intro (thanks dude!!), and i was fully ready to 'do it to it'...

i played my set by request, it being G's birthday after-all!! this meant the order was a bit odd but all the goodies were there... opened with a jazz hands (my choice), and then deferred to the birthday boy...

there was some CYHMN, a bit of the kinks, and an ultra-rare outing for the tune that is 'crack whore'... (i think i've actually played that more times since christmas than in the two years previous... maybe i should write an extra verse or something, its still a big dumb bludgeoning riff, and my favourite bit has to the 'crack rocks' section) - i reckon its probably safe to put it back on the shelf for a bit...

finished with the chicken one, in duet format (with the G), and a fat pile of crowd participation right about there... and left the stage having (by request) over run my 30mins slot, covered in sweat and barely able to talk... you gotta love it!!

(the mighty) Boomshadow took to the stage to close the night's proceedings, and from the bit of their set that i saw, they were on blistering form... it was nice to see all four of them onstage (for the first time this year i think), 2011 mBS have reworked some of their stuff jus' a lil' and were really good... they're playing at the bandstand in bearwood soon (i'll try and find a link), and are always definitely worth a look-see if you haven't already...

had to make a slightly early break for the wild, to avoid the wheels being impounded... the normally safe island bar car park having been turned into a(n) (admittedly cheap) pay and display car park... with nasty warnings about tickets, documents and letters - boo.

all in, had me a really good night, especially nice to see 1k, PC, PH, dale, sam, and of course the G... (thanks for inviting me dude!)

i love his new shirt!

me next one is at worcester music festival (20th August)... and the thang is already primed and ready to go... 'sgonna be like a super-coiled spring by the time we get there...

in the meantime...

peace-out y'all

Worcester Music Festival (19th - 21st August 2011)

word up you crazy cats!! how in the hell's is it all goin?! all good i hope...

most-exciting news and happy time (!!!) as the bwoi gonna be shaking that thang as part of 'Worcester Music Festival 2011' ...running from the 19th-21st August across Worcester, there's gonna be a bonafide multitude of quality musics on display

...and me 8)

i'll be playing at 'The Boston Tea Party', Saturday 20th August, sometime around the 7o'clock mark... (which is pretty precise for me)

oh yes... there'll be a dose of thang-shaking goodness served up for your own personal delectation... why not c'mon down as its FREE entry...

the line-up has been curated by the 'Not Just Sauce' crew and features...

Jayne Gaze

Hitchhiker

Jennie Harwood

Sarah Oreggio

Jane Booth

Carly Dee

Dan Lloyd

full details of the venue line-up, and more information about the festival can be found here...
http://www.worcestermusicfestival.co.uk/venues/worcester/thebostonteaparty/

i also happen to know that good friends and all round crazy cats 'Less For Murder' are also playing on the 20th... at the 'Swan With Two Nicks', they're on sometime around 4 (i think) ...these crazy cats give a quirky off-the-wall insight into the joys of married life - always worth a watch 8)

it'll be my second appearance at WMF, my first was in 2009 (at The Pheasant) when i stepped in on bass for 'I Am Locutus' with Dale and LC... that was a most enjoyable gig, i remember rushing off to play another set that evening (although the exact location escapes my right now), and wondering if i hadn't slipped a tad too much dub into the set... 8)

happy time

i rather randomly found a pic of the gig online the other day...

thus... 

there i am... :P

peace-out y'all

Love Once EP

word up you crazy cats!!!

today sees the release of the 'Love Once' EP... a kinda prequel to the whole 'Bonfire of the Quangos' album adventure, which is due later this year...

thang-shakin' good times music from me... to you.

as ever, all human life, and all life's essentials are there, and rumour has it there may even be a secret dental-centric bonus track on there...


its currently available to download via the magic of bandcamp (http://www.fatbwoi.bandcamp.com)...

you can name your own price, but anyone who is enamoured enough to download a paid copy will receive some exclusive bonus business when the album is released...

i don't think ya can say fairer than that...

peace-out y'all 8)

Love Once EP - Fatbwoi - 2011

1 - Love Once
2 - 1-800
3 - Mailman
4 - Forces

http://www.fatbwoi.bandcamp.com

Festival Weekend - Artsfest AND Booze Fusion (September 10th/11th 2011)

word up ye crazy cats!!! how the devil(spawn) is it going...?!?

this just in, some exciting developments down home on the farm... it is with much joy and happiness that i can confirm that there's gonna be a festival weekend - hell yes!

the bwoi gone be shaking that thang across two different sites on the weekend, for your own personal delectation, and in line with my legally obliged civic duty... i just thought i'd let ya know 8)

so where does this goodness take place...?!

first up...

ARTSFEST 2011

Artsfest is the UK's largest free arts festival, and takes place over the weekend September 10th/11th. It features a series of events across Birmingham, celebrating the West Midlands most talented performers, artists and creative projects... (http://www.artsfest.org.uk/)

...and it also features me!

i'll be playing at The Flapper and Firkin on Sat 10th, fully primed up and ready to go... hitting the stage about 15.00hrs... with the whole FREE entry thing going on, excuses not to come down and bust some moves/indulge in some quality arts/music goodness are limited...

BOOZE FUSION FESTIVAL 2011

Booze Fusion is a 3day festival running from 9th-11th September at The Vic Bikers Pub in Coalville... and promises to be a top weekend of music and beer goodness!! Day tickets are a 20th century low price of £5, and camping is free (although distributed on a first come basis... so's you takes your chances)...

I'll be taking to the stage at some point on Sunday 11th September, stage time tbc...

But I'd strongly advise you to come down, there's both a main stage and an acoustic stage, and i know for a fact that the most-excellent Grace and The Magic Roots are playing on Sunday too...

Excuses, again, are few...

Maybe we can shake some thang together?!

peace-out y'all

fb

the fatbwoi songbook VII - 1-800

look up in the sky... is it a bird? is it a plane?
omar daze... its a bwoi...
and what's with that completely ungraceful flapping action?!

yes its back, once again, the fatbwoi songbook... with more (and better) installments than star wars, and a chronology as confused as the saw movies... where would you be without it?!

requesting songsheets... but until i get a big ole' OHP, this'll have to do...

oft introduced as then one about god, which isn't strictly true (but chicken to god is a lovely progression)... occasionally more-accurately introduced as the one about tv evangelists and some of the crazy ideas they preach...

that's why the lyrics contain some 'far-out' stuff...

its like i dug that tune that genesis span many moons ago ('jesus he knows me'), but was unconvinced about the packaging or presentation (or something)...
________________________________

1-800

the jews killed jesus - so let's have a party
but i'm glad he was born - that's why the christmas started
well now he's dead you can have an egg
quick look busy jesus is coming
he gathered up twelve apostles
well you have to say that that was quite a posse
drank the holy wine and lost it
quick look busy jesus is coming

hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna know if god is talkin' to ya
hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna talk to god well you...

wanna get to heaven with no sacrifice
well i can sort that out - if you can pay the price
you see god he's good but i'm twice as nice
1-800-4-SALVATION
old school you wanna covet somebody
like a hippy wanna love somebody
let's get it on and brrrrp somebody
1-800-4-SALVATION

hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna know if god is talkin' to ya
hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna talk to god well you talk to me

say jesus
say hallelujah
say what is god - oh god is love
god is love
say jesus
say hallelujah
say what is god - oh god is love
god is love

wish religion could be more fun
you gotta picture the jesus with a laser gun
he's gonna honk some crack and brrrrp some nuns
1-800-4-SALVATION
have to wonder what god he would say
kinda different back in god's day
who is this god bloke anyway?!

hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna know if god is talkin' to ya
hold your hands up - hallelujah
you wanna talk to god well you through me
_________________________

just like that...

add a bit of stomping, (it sits nice with the shout-y middle eight) and job's a good 'un...

hold your hands up - hallelujah