#still_not_my_cat

i don't actually own a cat...

no really...

i used to live in a house with a lot of cats...

but since then i have pretty much always not had a cat...

its a condition that i've got quite used to living with...

so imagine my surprise on coming downstairs to find the portal to 'culture corner' closed, actually that's not the surprising bit - that happened afterwards... and upon opening said portal, being greeted with the sight of dudley (still_not_my_cat) indulgently licking his balls on my sofa...

never has a cat looked more at ease, more pampered, more relaxed...

this cat doesn't care where i'm meant to sit, oh no, he's comfortable...

and that's all that matters!

but dudley, you're STILL not my bloody cat...

you don't live here...

you don't appear to be taking over my twitter photo-stream...

see, its not just a random collection of pictures of you in my house (where you don't live) and cubase screenshots (although i have been mixing quite a bit recently... more on that later)  

and i have never dashed back in through the front door in an effort to avoid you...

sure its a testament to cat intelligence that you have now managed to associate both the front and back doors with being my house, especially seeing as its not your bloody house...

you're pretty good at playing scarf outside when its cold, i have never know a cat so ready to jump on on someone's shoulders and keep their neck warm...

but your hugs are a bit 'no-one loves me' and sub-standard - must try harder!

although at the end of the day, you're still not my cat...

and you're sitting in my seat...

today's not-wednesday

today, on this previously glorious but now overcast, not-wednesday i find my mind is preoccupied with 'many' different things...

and like a kettle that has boiled, i shall pour it out thus...

1 - really shouldn't have made reference to kettles or coffee without actually having a cup of coffee in my immediate vicinity... [school-boy error right about there...]

2 - cut aubergines (or possibly courgettes) appear to smell a bit like cat-sh!t... i woke up this morning convinced that dave (still not my cat) had left me a lil' parcel on the doormat as he is wont to do... (really should stop just tossing it out of the 'communal' window)... i even opened the door expecting to be greeted by a huge laws-of-physics-defying steam-y heap-y... but it was not there.

i threw the aubergines (and courgettes) into the bin and now the smell seems to be localised around there... i have in effect made a scientific, and also highly marketable, discovery...

thus...

"do you need portable cat stink, but can't be dealing with carrying around cat droppings just on the off-chance?! well we here at bwoi industries have a solution... Porta-Stank, a vacuum sealed pouch giving you the ultimate in bad-cat-tray badness at your convenience..."

[yeah, dragon's den here we come...]

3 - the alarm that goes off every time there's a hint of thunder is going off again... [still not as good for dancing too as a washing machine, but putting a break-beat behind it was amusing for a while...]

4 - i still don't have a brew... [and the kettle still isn't boiling]

5 - squeeze's 'pulling mussels from a shell' appears to be stuck on repeat in my head... which i guess is just one of those things... top tune though, got a one note guitar solo in it too...

happy not-wednesday y'all 8) [happy not-wednesday y'all]

i'm off to go and address the not-brew issue... [damn right]