a peak inside the world of fatbwoi... complete with music, zombies, lasers, all the usual kinda stuff... like cracking open his brain and feasting on the goo inside, but with less cracking... happy time
Showing posts with label zombie apocalypse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zombie apocalypse. Show all posts
"i'm gonna start and end in the same place, but the journey there is gonna be uhm,... different"
these are the words i opened my set with last week at the charter... it was a return gig, having played there as part of the festival over the jubilee weekend, there was a lot of partying there over the bank holiday so something a lil' more chilled seemed in order...
opened with the chicken, as per my advisory intro... before a short 'zombie suite', one track short of a trilogy but i do think having an electronic AND acoustic zombie trilogy may be taking things a step too far...
there was a second outing for newbie 'luggage', the one with the happy eels vibe (and caught on camera in its early proto-form by stevie), which inspired a rare outing for 'beautiful blues' that was well received all round...
'bullet' drew a promise from stevie to dress up in a cape and boots at my next album launch gig... therefore it is imperative that i get my sh!t together and get the beast recorded...
i did play sunny afternoon on my last visit, but this time it was by request... it still rang true with what i said at the start, i played it much earlier in the set last time - so definitely a different way round :o
closed with the spy music... and the sexy chord - as you do!!
all-in a top night, always a pleasure, nice to meet some friends old and new...
thanks as ever to stevie for having me over - thang officially shaken (even if in a slightly more laid-back manner)
word up you crazy cats! played me a lil' lunchtime gig as part of the 2nd annual rowell charter beer and acoustic festival... oh yes, some of these people had been having it large (and rightly so!), and when i arrived around lunchtime... there sure was a lot of mirth/joy/drunken-confusion being spread around... happy time 8)
the sun was out... i had me red top on... thang primed and ready
and all this by 12.45 (get me!!!)
pop-art bwoi?!
there was fun... there was chicken, some irreverent references to genesis and how i prefer my tv evengelist song to theirs... there was a fully-clothed performance of the naked-in-a-cape one... even a kinks-ian nod to the most glorious weather (definitely better weather than saturday when the weather was doing the whole rapid fire bi-polar thing)...
there was a mild wave of terror swept through the audience as, in explaining that they didn't need to join in with the actions on 'jazz hands' because of the weather, i forgot to tell them that i was about to shout at them in german... my bad
of course i always preferred racing like a p!ss-horse
i'm a bit worried about rothwell's chances in the event of the inevitable zombie apocalypse... i have played 'l.o.t.d' there before so i've done my local safety/information bit, but i did snap the g string whilst playing it! mark suggested that possibly the zombie gods were aggrieved... he may well have had a point...
a quick change onto stevie's guitar (cheers dude) meant i could deliver a quick dose of mentalism, hip hop and gadgetry... job officially as they say - a good un!
really enjoyed playing, it was nice to actually get a bit of sun on my studio-tanned arms for once...
but a special mention has to go out to the bacon sandwich (with chilli sauce)... there's something special about festival bacon sandwiches, and this one was no different...
washed down with a swift shandy, it went down a treat... but i do think i committed that real ale fest faux pas, of seeing all the barrels and the wonderful variety, and opting for common or garden lager... diluted with lemonade. oops
really enjoyed stuart o'connor's set... he plays psychedelic folk armed with (around) 15 pedals, for techno weirdness... i was chatting to him afterwards (safe dude - tunes well worth checkin' out...), and he was saying how sometimes he just feels like properly wigging out with all the gadgets, but doesn't cos he thinks the audience might not get it...
the 'on the wonk-ness' of that propeller is scarin' me a bit now...
i should probably work on the whole "its gonna break free from its mount and come careening across the motorway" obsession i appear to have developed... whilst born in final destination, i just see the actual effect itself as more 'epic' - something more fitting of the global armageddon that is '2012'...
(oh no! he's back onto the end of the world again...)
sailed past corley at a rate of knots though (happy time), listening to ash's 'supersonic 7"s', which by some queer quirk of fate was exactly the same length as my journey (19 tracks - 74 mins), but has left me with an unnaturally strong urge to make some bouncy pop-punk...
let's just say, its probably a good job that i wasn't listening to 'the downward spiral'... step away from the cd player (industrial)bwoi...
today i learnt that when you move sainsburys closer to toys 'r' us, no-matter the size of the sainsburys, there is lil' point in having a toy section... and thus, they don't. why did you move sainsburys? why did you move? but then the move did lead to the introduction of up/down auto-walks (like an escalator without the steps) which are prone to issuing harsh diktats regarding an individuals behaviour whilst travelling there-on...
(that's like two steps south of skynet)
and parking sensors in the parking spaces... which caused me a bit of anguish (don't got them round here... they'd probably end up adorning the exterior and interior walls of most of the local populace) - techno-parking, whilst becoming more common is still a lil' far out for me...
(one step...)
but then i don't really trust microwaves...
there's something just not-quite-right about them...
(***ping***)
more likely that the end of the world will start in a car park though... actually that's a complete lie, its just i love the whole dark car park thing you get going on in zombie movies... car park, tunnel, wherever its dark... that way zombie-joy comes...
that probably needs refining further, as the (exterior, well lit) car park in the day of the dead remake does supply a few moments fo amusement (burt reynolds)... and the whole dead gathering 'in the lot' and at the doors of the mall is a zombie apocalypse i can really dig...
there's something about that whole impending doom kick that i jus' really like...
it was executed poorly in diary of the dead... (but we're not going there right now...)
although i'm not sure that giant propellers feature in a zombie apocalypse scenario... i don't know, the two just seem a lil' incongruous, more like something out of a superhero/apocalypse (non-zombie) movie...
which is a bit of a shame...
cos its just round the corner from corley (and there's as good a chance as any that it will start there*...)
far-out
*it probably won't to be fair... its sure to start somewhere much more sinister like that funny lil' building by the river in alverly with a sign about a chlorine warning alarm... chlorine? yeah right... they're probably (inadvertently) making zombies down there, hence the field of cows... for protection
"i don't get paid to believe... i get paid to [mess] [stuff] up..."
the mutant chronicles - abridged
the apocalypse is nigh...
and we're not talking about the zombie apocalypse i have been predicting, which let's face it boy-beings and girl-beings, is a quantifiable mathematical/scientific certainty...
zombies man, a mathematical/scientific certainty...
oh no... apparent there is some seriously biblical business about to go down... its the time of the rapture, according to harold camping...
harold tells it how it is... yes harold, we hear ya!
yeah apparently the second coming is gonna happen tomorrow, 21st May 2011 is the first day of judgement and millions of people are going to die whilst the righteous few ascend to heaven...
...and i got a gig!! its @ the cross keys, milton keynes - c'mon down, we is having an apocalypse party 8)
according to hc, the second coming will start with an earthquake in new zealand at 07.30 (or thereabouts), now i know that would suggest that the gig maybe in trouble as judgement day will have already begun elsewhere around the globe, but in all honesty i have reached the conclusion that nutty as he is, hc probably doesn't even acknowledge the concept of time-zones beyond the one in which he is living...
i'm not sure exactly which part of the states he lives in, but that puts him behind us meaning there should still be an opportunity for thang shakery... (ok, i just found another site which suggests hc thinks its all going to kick off at 15.00PST on saturday... we are thus fine to par-tay)
but what strikes me as a lil' weird about this situation is the fact that people have sold all of their worldly goods and sent the money to hc, such is the power of their belief that the world will end on saturday...
i heard reports today of a company which has been set-up which will, for a premium, care for the pets here on earth, after the righteous have ascended to heaven...
i've gotta be honest though, i like the way they operate... the company are offering a 10 year doomsday insurance, that covers a whole host of predicted apocalypse dates... just in case hc is wrong, and it doesn't all go down tomorrow...
but of course, with such power and conviction of belief ole' hc couldn't be wrong... could he?!
"harold camping is a false prophet! The following are just a few of his false doctrines that have been taught, and that you would hear live on his heretical "family radio"...
1. harold camping proclaimed that the lord's return would be in 1994!
2. harold camping now proclaims that the lord's return will be on 21 may, 2011!
3. harold camping teaches that the world will end in fiery destruction on october 21, 2011!
4. harold camping (family radio) has aired mormon advertisments!
5. harold camping taught that no-one was saved between 1988 through 1994!
6. harold camping teaches that the church age ended in 1994!
7. harold camping teaches that the holy spirit is no longer working in the church!
8. harold camping teaches that every church in the world is apostate!
clearly, harold camping is not a true christian, and has fabricated his own cult... the word of god must be our final authority, and not the traditions and lies of men."
i think that just about clears everything up right? (dont know about you, but i do love a good bit of religious bickering!!)
so hc has been wrong before... the immeadiate reaction to his 'teachings' is something along the lines of...
"yo harold, what you gonna do when the sun still comes up on the 22nd?"
obviously jesus-is-saviour.com puts the ill-informed right on this, hc doesn't think that the world will cease to be on that day... more that the destruction of the earth will take about five months. call me cynical, but surely an omnipotent all-powerful god who could build all of creation in seven days would be able to destroy the earth in less than five months... especially if the righteous all ascend to be by his side on the first day...
when quizzed by a caller to his radio show, hc admitted that he did not know exactly what would happen on the 22nd, but that it would be (and this paraphrased) "hell on earth" and "millions would die"... and other such fire and brimstone phrases suggesting that it may not be a nice day...
bad times
he's not the first guy to predict the second coming... william miller predicted it would happen in 1844, some people were obviously a bit miffed when it didn't... the seventh day adventists decided that jesus had returned, invisibly (yeah right), and would make his presence felt soon (luke i can feel your presence)...
other branches of the christian faith keep bouncing the date back a lil' more each time it doesn't happen, basing the fault on misreadings or misinterpretations of the scripture...
its all a bit like nostra-whats-his-face...
personally i think a zombie apocalypse is more 'god' than this whole taking five months to wipe out the world schtick that hc is pedalling... the whole "when there's no room in hell, the dead will walk the earth" angle works better for me...
the pub is also a sweet please to hole-up for the duration...
therefore in such a case, i reckon that makes us safe to shake some thang tomorrow...
grown me a lil' beard (cos it makes me look a lil' older/scruffier delete as appropriate), dyed the top, primed the guitar, and stopped making sense...
i make that all systems go...
if you want i'll hedge some bets for us, and slip krshna says back in the set, on the off-chance that it may curry some favour with one of the other true deities... the chorus brings you closer to god, or so i've heard!!
peace-out y'all
NEXT GIG - Sat 21st May @ The Cross Keys, Milton Keynes
sun is shining,
the weather is sweet yeah, [bwoi],
make you wanna move those dancin' feet...
damn right finley...
there's gotta be something said for a tune that gets ya bogling like an eejit in a field... most likely "yeaman" - fits the bill and everything... 8)
you gotta love the quaye though...
...and the quaid. oh yes, you gotta love the quaid...
let's face it, anyone who was miniaturised, then injected into martin short and came out the other end fairly unaffected by the process deserves a prop or two...
smooth like a quaid
he also went inside meg ryan... whilst miniaturised, but i guess that got some serious connotations!!! (you know serious like y'know for real, as opposed to the other kind)
"the jack putter machine... zero defects!"
but i like the quaid... (i also like quato but that's another quaid again...) i guess he's become like a surrogate hopp to me... although i'm not sure i'm feeling a quaid as smart cracking one-thumbed bomber, unlike the hopp he tends to work better with all his limbs...
he's definitely 'grizzled' up a bit since the 80's... that pissed-up cafe owner type in legion is pretty cool, and as piss-heads go i'd be just as likely to follow him into a cave full of zombies as that rowan atkinson bloke in the original (and best) day of the dead...
i do reckon a quaid zombie film would be pretty cool... if he'd have been in charge of fiddler's green the people would've been more bad-ass, and he'd of probably had them living outside in lil' spiky igloos, surrounded by razor wire... these days he's like a slightly-more rough-and-ready hopp...
fiddler's green - living in the grand old style
if he was one of the gang, the quaid'd kick some serious zombie-ass (probably in stunningly low-tech ways), and certainly make it to almost the final scene before dying in a heroic "get the hell out of here" stylee...
i could easily see him makin' it to the end, and contemplating the world in a weary-eyed "i-guess-i-gone-have-to-whup-this-much-zombie-ass-everyday" kinda way as he drives across arizona in a station wagon filled with guns (and a gnarly old machete)...
"zombies, man. they creep me out."
if the modern quaid made a travel show it'd be a skin-a-bear-with-your-bare-teeth kind of affair... i wouldn't wanna be trapped in the andes with the quaid... whereas i reckon the hopp would probably opt for something with a constant number of walls, and a slice of luxury thrown in... (we're back to fiddler's green here)
i reckon by contrast, 'quato-quaid' (arnie) would be sh*t in the event of global zombie apocalypse... (just putting it out there)
don't you try and pull that conan sh*t in here...
fair-play, he gave pretty good against the predator... but then so did danny glover (make of that what you will... although the glover can rock)... i'm just not-thinking that zombies are his particular milieu... and i reckon his cheesy "let off some steam bennet" one-liners would probably get him in trouble... if not from the zombies, certainly from me...
Ladies and Crazy Cats... it is with great pleasure that i present to you...
The Fatbwoi Tetralogy
a series of four hand-painted silk cushions carrying a selection of bwoi related motifs... bringing to you the greatest of comfort, and the ultimate of band accessories...
bring the pinnacle of design home to your crib...
The Bwoi (streetstyle)
the first two designs in the series feature logo's for both bwoi and bwoi's, mixing occasionally edgy 'street' vibes with funky psychedellic design...
The F5 Logo
the latter half of the series references songs taken from a typical fatbwoi live set...
The Spinning Bird Kick
take the elegance of the spinning bird kick... what can you say but wah-ow?!
The Code Red/Bullet
and the all encompassing brilliance of the code red/bullet which not only has a zombie on it (stick-a-zombie-on-it), but also makes a sly nod to some cape-clad shenanigans, whilst acting as a subtle reminder of what to do in the event of the inevitable zombie apocalypse...
i make that a win/win
...this is a collection no home should be without!
"these truly are one of my favourite things ever..." - fatbwoi
this most-excellent works were crafted by the immensely talented heather collins...
with black and white designs by woody shearwood
ye gads, he's back again... with more of this zombie business...
shoot - it was really a struggle not to write 'bizzle' or 'a-bizzle' there...
let's get this down straight... hangin' out with veggies who fancy you and then pouring bleach on them when they get bitten, is NOT an effective way to survive the zombie apocalypse. just putting it out there...
and for anyone who thinks that taking a machete to the infected area and then go for some serious fire/cauterisation a-bizzle on a stick... well, i think we've already been there...
but bleach does not a mong zombie make...
bud is not bub... this is science_FAKT... granted its a remake, but when you're gonna mess with elements of a story, there are certain places you just should not go... i mean really, that's offensive right about there...
and whilst we're on the subject, what's with the dead people climbing on the ceiling...?!? they sure as anything didn't do it when they were alive... does their decaying flesh mean they have extra sticky hands?!
legless ving rhames is fairly amusing though...
so remember... shoot it in the head, or severe the head and put it on a stick for comic effect...
...DON'T cover it in bleach, and stick a seatbelt on it!!
anywho, i reckon that bleach i got the other day would work much better... it does a kind of blue rinse thing, that one on the telebox looked a bit watery to me... that's probably why it didn't do no good...
...so, i was like "yeah, i'd never move in anywhere that a retired brewer from toledo was interested in. and that my friend is science_FAKT."
and he just rolled his eyes.
this just in fresh off the mojo-wire... bub ("say hello to your aunt alisha bub") from day of the dead, and robert webb are in-fact the same person!!! say it ain't so...?!
ja for sure, and we got proof...
robert webb... packin' heat
bub, bein' just about as cute as a zombie can be...
you gotta love bub, guess you gotta love doctor logan... sarah probably needs a better pair of trousers, and salazaar has got some serious issues... but i digress
the idea of an undead concept album was raised again today... although, as pitched, the idea did contain reference to vampires, which i have decided to ignore (rich is an "inestimably" lovely bloke, and recently stopped using product on his hair...)
i'm not sure of the right-ness of the idea in an acoustic format... not to say that i haven't considered it, i did and decided to put it off until i lapse into prog sometime in my dotage...
i had a bash at an electric one, the concept behind which was that of an 80's era 'wall street' style zombie civilisation... a concept that rapidly drifted when i found that i had a sample of a man sounding more than a little like bill clinton saying ass...
