i've heard it said that you can tell a lot about a person from the words in their phone dictionaries... you know, the predictive text kind which i shall for sake of argument (and a distinct non-arsedness to just check google to see what it actually is) call T9...
tbh, i don't know if i've heard it said, or i just dreamed it in a dream (i've been having a lot of weird dreams lately)... but i'll bet its kind of fun...
thus, the words lifted from the previously-difficult-to-locate T9 dictionary (see previous blog) hidden deep within the bowels of techno-phone...
aiii
alrite
ass
bankrupted
blud
brum
chica
could've
Damn
damned
dem
Dons
Dudley
enunciate
ese
fatbwoi
Fiddy
fucking
Han
hippy
hombre
icthyologist
inabit
init
Irie
Jobi
lil'
Lil'
linenwrecker
Omar
Oooh
peng
playin'
reverbnation
shit
should've
snooze
suss
uhm
Umami
uni
... and there we have it, take from that what you will - right on 8)
Tuesday, 15 November 2011
Monday, 14 November 2011
squash...
no added sugar
(cool)
improved! - now 30% more fruit juice
(ok, but its a new flavour... but then i suppose the fact that there is now a flavour implies that more fruit was used than before...)
cherries & berries squash - double strength
(hell yeah... concentrate it baby)
concentrated no added sugar apple, cherry, strawberry & raspberry juice drink with sweeteners
(hence the lack of extra sugar)
use half as much! 30+ servings
(wicked. now, how much was i supposed to use in the first place?!)
...
(serving suggestion is sadly lacking, but i bet it would go great on a roll with a bit of salad leaf... typical serving suggestions, that don't involve cereal, suggest that this is the normal way of serving everything...)
(cool)
improved! - now 30% more fruit juice
(ok, but its a new flavour... but then i suppose the fact that there is now a flavour implies that more fruit was used than before...)
cherries & berries squash - double strength
(hell yeah... concentrate it baby)
concentrated no added sugar apple, cherry, strawberry & raspberry juice drink with sweeteners
(hence the lack of extra sugar)
use half as much! 30+ servings
(wicked. now, how much was i supposed to use in the first place?!)
...
(serving suggestion is sadly lacking, but i bet it would go great on a roll with a bit of salad leaf... typical serving suggestions, that don't involve cereal, suggest that this is the normal way of serving everything...)
Dear Mr Clostermann...
Dear Mr Clostermann,
how the devils be ye?! All good i hope...?!?
as you are aware, i recently purchased a techno-phone (one of those with a whole heap of technology that is probably capable of flying to the moon on its own, before plotting a second low-g launch and leaving us for mars...) which i have been having some 'moments' adjusting too...
the reason i have upgraded to such a technological marvel is complex and convoluted, and either based in a bunch of words that end in '...ivity', or some kind of mid-32 crisis, and for this reason i have decided not to explore them any further at this point...
the old 'touch screen-functionality' is something in particular i have been struggling with, although i do feel this may in part be connected to an age old memory of the 'search for books by sticking you greasy paws on the screen' machine that used to reside in CMK library... but i digress...
its mainly the getting it to type the word i actually asked it to type and not filling my t9 dictionary (predictive text being something i have avoided using on every other phone i have ever possessed) with random streams of letters and gibberish...
let us not mention the tweets involving the word "i'be", which whilst cute in its own kinda retro/ye-olde worlde way, is not something i would ever type... well certainly not with an apostrophe in it. "i are be not well" is a text i have sent this week, as is "i be king of the planets", note in neither case was an apostrophe deployed...
and this is where you come into the story... as you are aware, i did email you for advice on finding my dictionary, which after finding on the first day i had the phone had seemingly disappeared into a myriad of menus and button presses (including buttons which aren't actually buttons - most confusing)...
first i must thank you for your direction... it was clear, concise, and i managed to scrub some hideous amalgamations from my dictionary - good skills that man
secondly you made a recommendation, that i use swype... sent me a link and everything...
and this is where it all went a bit wrong... you see, you sent me a link for swype (one which i have since used, and dude "what a recommendation - thank you!!")... however my initial attempts to obtain this app were conducted via the medium of said techno-phone, which may in itself be foolish, but it lead me somewhere...
it lead me to a game called 'zombie swype'... and i think you know what happened next?! i saw the 'z' word, and we all know that i cannot be held responsible for my actions in the presence of the 'z' word...
so down it was loaded, unto techno phone...
and now i cannot stop playing it! i appear to have developed an addiction to poking zombies in the face... and watching them disappear...
i currently have the 3rd and 4th highest scores ever (there's only probably eight people who've downloaded it ever, or similar) and i have a feeling that 1st and 2nd will fall to me in the next 24 hours...
this game rules... its kicked a hole in my 'champ manager' addiction (if its good enough for plan b its good enough for me), but also appears to have curtailed the whole connectivity of techno phone as i am spending a large amount of time poking the living dead in the face...
if i put the phone down long enough, i may even complete the zombie trilogy with a song about the 'zombies that wolf gave me'...
so i must thank you once more for your most excellent recommendation... one i would pass on to all htc users with the words "thank wolf" (i told mel on saturday, she says 'thanks')... however should a the situation arise, can you please prefix (or suffix) the recommendation with
"go straight past the zombies, where available collect £200, but do not stop at zombie or else you will get very little done..."
i hope the world is good with you
big love
fatbwoi
how the devils be ye?! All good i hope...?!?
as you are aware, i recently purchased a techno-phone (one of those with a whole heap of technology that is probably capable of flying to the moon on its own, before plotting a second low-g launch and leaving us for mars...) which i have been having some 'moments' adjusting too...
the reason i have upgraded to such a technological marvel is complex and convoluted, and either based in a bunch of words that end in '...ivity', or some kind of mid-32 crisis, and for this reason i have decided not to explore them any further at this point...
the old 'touch screen-functionality' is something in particular i have been struggling with, although i do feel this may in part be connected to an age old memory of the 'search for books by sticking you greasy paws on the screen' machine that used to reside in CMK library... but i digress...
its mainly the getting it to type the word i actually asked it to type and not filling my t9 dictionary (predictive text being something i have avoided using on every other phone i have ever possessed) with random streams of letters and gibberish...
let us not mention the tweets involving the word "i'be", which whilst cute in its own kinda retro/ye-olde worlde way, is not something i would ever type... well certainly not with an apostrophe in it. "i are be not well" is a text i have sent this week, as is "i be king of the planets", note in neither case was an apostrophe deployed...
and this is where you come into the story... as you are aware, i did email you for advice on finding my dictionary, which after finding on the first day i had the phone had seemingly disappeared into a myriad of menus and button presses (including buttons which aren't actually buttons - most confusing)...
first i must thank you for your direction... it was clear, concise, and i managed to scrub some hideous amalgamations from my dictionary - good skills that man
secondly you made a recommendation, that i use swype... sent me a link and everything...
and this is where it all went a bit wrong... you see, you sent me a link for swype (one which i have since used, and dude "what a recommendation - thank you!!")... however my initial attempts to obtain this app were conducted via the medium of said techno-phone, which may in itself be foolish, but it lead me somewhere...
it lead me to a game called 'zombie swype'... and i think you know what happened next?! i saw the 'z' word, and we all know that i cannot be held responsible for my actions in the presence of the 'z' word...
so down it was loaded, unto techno phone...
and now i cannot stop playing it! i appear to have developed an addiction to poking zombies in the face... and watching them disappear...
i currently have the 3rd and 4th highest scores ever (there's only probably eight people who've downloaded it ever, or similar) and i have a feeling that 1st and 2nd will fall to me in the next 24 hours...
this game rules... its kicked a hole in my 'champ manager' addiction (if its good enough for plan b its good enough for me), but also appears to have curtailed the whole connectivity of techno phone as i am spending a large amount of time poking the living dead in the face...
if i put the phone down long enough, i may even complete the zombie trilogy with a song about the 'zombies that wolf gave me'...
so i must thank you once more for your most excellent recommendation... one i would pass on to all htc users with the words "thank wolf" (i told mel on saturday, she says 'thanks')... however should a the situation arise, can you please prefix (or suffix) the recommendation with
"go straight past the zombies, where available collect £200, but do not stop at zombie or else you will get very little done..."
i hope the world is good with you
big love
fatbwoi
Sunday, 6 November 2011
the tree is on fire...
the tree is on fire...
the helicopter is out...
the helicopter is not attending the tree fire, but rather hovering in an almost geostationary manner over what may be a lake, a road, or a big shop...
it has something to do with fireworks...
"i told you we shouldn't have buried that one"
oh yeah, you're proper hilarious you...
the helicopter is probably not over the stadium, it must be cheaper (although less portable) to use the in-house floodlights...
that would more 'sound' both economically and ecologically...
solar panels have improved the day-time efficiency of the local leisure centre, however year on year stats show a decrease in night-time efficiency that offsetting will not balance out...
i'm gonna walk to marks'... get me some smokes
which is both economically and ecologically sound...
the tree is on fire...
the helicopter is out...
Der Affe ist nicht unter dem Tisch
the helicopter is out...
the helicopter is not attending the tree fire, but rather hovering in an almost geostationary manner over what may be a lake, a road, or a big shop...
it has something to do with fireworks...
"i told you we shouldn't have buried that one"
oh yeah, you're proper hilarious you...
the helicopter is probably not over the stadium, it must be cheaper (although less portable) to use the in-house floodlights...
that would more 'sound' both economically and ecologically...
solar panels have improved the day-time efficiency of the local leisure centre, however year on year stats show a decrease in night-time efficiency that offsetting will not balance out...
i'm gonna walk to marks'... get me some smokes
which is both economically and ecologically sound...
the tree is on fire...
the helicopter is out...
Der Affe ist nicht unter dem Tisch
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
...is this thing on?!
uhm,... hello?!
is this thing on?! are we hot?! ...good to go?!
cool.
i gotta apologise for the recent short-fall in blog delivery, there's been a few changes round here, and between one thing and another, i was forced to spend the last few months in a decompression unit at south mimms' services...
before we even get onto the connection, the facilities themselves were terrible... although there was admittedly no repeat of the northampton services sh!t mountain episode...
thank the maker.
i was however digging the oversize bwoi-ball vibe... like one of those gerbil balls, slightly more controlled than zorbing, considerably more sophisticated and cooler lookin'...
but i am back once again... with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour...
the other night i spent over an hour wondering whether or not there was a cadbury's "screme egg" melting under my ass... turns out it wasn't, and it survived for a further 10 days (a record), before being munched by frau linenwrecker...
the green bit in the middle is a tad wrong, but not a patch on freaky fingers... there's some serious colouration issues going on there...
but nah, its all good... i'm putting the final touches to culture corner studios - output from which will be appearing soon, and working out some funky business for the end of this year into the next....
'sall lookin' good y'all
thanks for watching
peace-out!!
is this thing on?! are we hot?! ...good to go?!
cool.
i gotta apologise for the recent short-fall in blog delivery, there's been a few changes round here, and between one thing and another, i was forced to spend the last few months in a decompression unit at south mimms' services...
before we even get onto the connection, the facilities themselves were terrible... although there was admittedly no repeat of the northampton services sh!t mountain episode...
thank the maker.
i was however digging the oversize bwoi-ball vibe... like one of those gerbil balls, slightly more controlled than zorbing, considerably more sophisticated and cooler lookin'...
but i am back once again... with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour...
the other night i spent over an hour wondering whether or not there was a cadbury's "screme egg" melting under my ass... turns out it wasn't, and it survived for a further 10 days (a record), before being munched by frau linenwrecker...
the green bit in the middle is a tad wrong, but not a patch on freaky fingers... there's some serious colouration issues going on there...
but nah, its all good... i'm putting the final touches to culture corner studios - output from which will be appearing soon, and working out some funky business for the end of this year into the next....
'sall lookin' good y'all
thanks for watching
peace-out!!
Saturday, 27 August 2011
upcoming gigs alert... (avec le widget)
the bwoi will be out once again in public, shaking that thang for your delectation...
and obviously in-line with my civic duty, i just have to tell you where... (its for your own safety, or somebody's safety, i forget...)
to this end, i have pasted this lil' do-hickey with big blobs on a map where i can be found...
that's proper 21st century and everything...
an in plain text that's...
28th August - Rhett Barrow's Album Launch, The Soundhouse, Lecicester
28th August - Rhett Barrow's Album Launch, The Soundhouse, Lecicester
10th September - Artsfest @ The Flapper, Birmingham
11th September - Booze Fusion Festival 2011, The Vic Bikers Pub, Coalville
26th October - Rowell Charter Acoustic Club, Kettering
peace-out y'all
fatbwoi live @ worcester music festival 200811
word-up ye crazy cats! how the devil's is it goin' with you?!
things are, as ever a bit mental on planet bwoi at the minute (although i should state for the record that there are of course different definitions of mental, and it hasn't quite got "don't blame me, blame the ice-cream" levels yet...)
bur the mental never gets in the way of the thang-shakery (although it has been said that the two walk hand in hand) and as such i did step out last week to wiggle it (just a lil' bit) at 'The Boston Tea Party' as part of Worcester Music Festival 2011!!
and i must confess to having had a most-excellent time...
car/parking-related shenanigans meant that i didn't get to catch those crazy less for murder cats whilst they were playing, but it was nice to sit and have a lil' chinwag in the chippy before my set/mooching back up to the venue...
(there was truly supreme toy-shop window en route too... i cannot tell you what was in it for fear of appearing more of a geek than i do now - but rest assured, it was cool)
(there was truly supreme toy-shop window en route too... i cannot tell you what was in it for fear of appearing more of a geek than i do now - but rest assured, it was cool)
the venue was top... it had an aeroplane stuck the ceiling, some properly yummy looking cake-age... like, uhm,... props and everything!!
opened with some chicken, lil' bit of tv evangelism, and had just got into discussing the whole running naked around the woods being chased by a bear thing, when the legend that is I've Been Dean (avec entourage) appeared at the door in his glowing daz white jeans...
from there on in, it got a lil' kooky... 8)
we had a bit of a party atmos going on... so the set list got a bit free and easy at the end! i felt bad because i had to deny a request for 'house of corpses' (its been too long since i played it, but i'll slip in sometime soon), but less bad at denying of for the song about the woman with a habit...
instead we settled for a quick burst of the krshna song... proximity to the godhead re-established, we got on with the party...
then in honour of the post-modern one (i.b.dean) i did me a lil' book-ending and closed with an exuberant burst of nandos...
went down a treat...
i even had a portugese dude telling me how his dad makes the best piri piri ever, i asked him to send me the recipe but i get the impression that it may be a 'family' secret, in which case i've asked if he can just send his dad...
no reply on that so far...
all in it was a really good night, met some top new people and got to touch base with some top older friends AND got to shake that thang...
what more can a bwoi ask for?!
(took me friggin' ages to find the car though...)
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