let us just stop and think about cows, for a minute...

no really...

cows... more than just a mobile whopper with a tail (or 50% of a portable, exceedingly rare surf and turf)...

pretty sh!t as a weather detection system, all that business about cows sitting down if its going to rain... (do i infer from this that where cows are standing up in the rain, that it caught them by surprise?! or that they just don't care?! like proper 'rebel cows'...)

it was raining today when i met some cows...

they were standing up...

i believe they were actually a herd of bullocks, bound he-ventually for plates and sesame buns the world over... this isn't me being cruel (or taunting cows with talk of garlic and gherkins!)

nuh-uh...

scary john craven in scary retro fashions...

as i did learn from watching country file on bbc's sign zone the other night (well the first thing i found out is that they still let scary john craven on the tele, second thing that he looks less scary with white hair, and finally that...) all british beef is tagged with two uniquely numbered tags, one in each ear, so that it can tracked from mommy-cow to burger through the food chain...

this is why british beef is currently the most expensive (and also desirable according to the craven) beef on the international market... (i personally like argentinian beef, but would also have to agree with the craven about the typically lower quality of US beef... but he said that and not me)

and these cows were so tagged...

cow - tagged (the cows i saw were near a much smaller 'brook')

but, did you ever take a second to think about how far round a cow can turn its head? or how far around themselves any given cow can see...

did you ever realise that a cow has a near-360-degree field of vision...

a cow never needs to ask if its ass looks big in this (probably)... it just has to turn around and check it out for itself...

it is seriously spooky... they don't just try and stare you out...

they follow you with their eyes, and even standing behind them is not enough to get away...

they can look around that far, that i think we should give them an 'l' and have done with it...

cow-ls... that's what they should be called, and batman can stuff-off and find another name for his head gear with his approximate 200-degree field of vision and inability to see all-around him without the use of modern technology...

face it dude... the cow got you licked up

personally i believe that if cows were jus' a lil' bit thinner, or at least their hips were 'less wide', they would be able to gaze through both time and the fabric of reality...

maybe then they wouldn't get caught out by 'surprise' rain...