subtle and stylish...

recently i made a discovery, not the ground-breaking "wow i can power my car with my own ass" kinda discovery, but a discovery all the same... 

if i could power a car with forces generated by my ass it would probably be best not to shout about it, lest i get on the wrong side of the petrol companies and the dollar signs whizzing around in their eyes... thus i shall inxay on the assnay (or something)

my discovery, which is both subtle... and stylish (apparently)

mmm, white and brown... both subtle, and stylish

admittedly, i was having a bad-toilet-paper-decisions kinda day...

it was one of those days where an attempt to razz around the supermarket was heavily impeded by the whole fridge section, which used this impedance to generate a horrible degenerative buzzing sensation inside your skull... one of those days where you cant move, but you have to go...

i think in truth, it possibly reminded me a lil' bit of the kitchen paper the mother-unit used to buy, and when this did not send me running to the hills i do not know... although i think that had more of a green, blue and white motif going on, which is about as far from subtle and stylish as you can get...

or as a populace, we were just less susceptible to advertising guff back in t'day...

but hey, rough with the smooth (although probably better to stick with the smooth whilst we're discussing bog roll... just putting it out there!)

the offending article 'in situ' (its not my house, but neither do i go round photographing random people's TP!?!)

its soft...

but what in the dickens is that design supposed to be?! admittedly it does look quite subtle when kept next to a brick wall (every body's toilet has a brick wall in it right?!) and a bright front door (same again huh?!)...

i guess two of the rolls could maybe pass for subtle, as they have a slightly more slender fern motif going on...

i want you to picture the design above, upside down and folded in a toilet full of zizz...

the leaves look like dirty lil' devil mouths, proper uncanny it is... there's probably a horror film in that somewhere (its only a fraction of development away from modern cinematic standards already...)...

depending on the particular hue of your zizz, they look somewhere between lil' devil mouths of sh!t or blood... like seriously, this design could really do with re-thinking...

the inner roll has a fine two tone quality to it... and as we all know, that is essential for the successful deployment and application of bog-roll...

really, when it all comes down to it...

what the hell is going on with toilet rolls these days?!

i can kinda understand the aloe vera, the shea butter is just taking it a bit far...

and just what is the deal with the 'puppies on a roll', where i come from, that's just plain warped...